PIERRE? HE GETS MY HALL PASS
by Humma Kavula on Dec 15, 2009 9:20 PM PST
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PrintAfter the 2007 season, Bill James's Favorite Toy gave Juan Pierre about a 30% chance at 3,000 hits, which of course has historically been an automatic entry to the Hall of Fame. The idea that Juan Pierre, who is not good at baseball, could have even an unrealistic but non-zero chance at the Hall of Fame, was surprising.
Since then, Pierre's playing time has dropped and his chances even slimmer. As the White Sox make him a full-time player again, the embers of his hopes for the Hall burn and could once again become a raging fire.
We now fast-foward you in time ten years. In that time, everything has gone right for Pierre. He has 3,000 hits and 650 stolen bases.
We now present Bill Plaschke's column from December 10, 2019, making the case for Juan Pierre, Hall of Famer.
This was posted earlier today on Dodger Thoughts. I repost it here at David's request.
PIERRE? HE GETS MY HALL PASS
by Bill Plaschke
December 10, 2019
He has a ring in a box.
He has three thousand reasons to say yes and six hundred and fifty pushes in the right direction.
And one big reason to cheer.
Though Juan Pierre was mocked by the know-it-alls-who-know-nothing during his time in L.A., and jettisoned by the disasters that were the McCourts just to save a few pennies, he became a fan favorite.
L.A. fans liked his speed.
They respected his work ethic.
And they loved that he did it cleanly.
In an era marred by steroids, the Hall of Fame has seen fit to block such players as Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, and that biggest Dodger cheater of them all, Manny Ramirez, from baseball's highest honor.
And now, the know-it-alls-who-know-nothing are saying that a guy who did it without the drugs, without cheating, and still reached a level of hits that has ensured election for every other player who got there, doesn't deserve it.
That's garbage.
"I always gave my best to every team," Pierre says today. "Some didn't appreciate my game. I don't want to say anything about that. The Hall of Fame would be enough."
Indeed it would. The best revenge.
Pierre's proudest moment as a Dodger came in 2009, when Ramirez was busted for taking female fertility drugs that mask steroid use.
Pierre stepped up to the plate and did what he always did.
He swung.
And became the team's MVP.
Still, the Dodgers inexplicably played Ramirez when he was eligible again. And again, the Dodgers missed the World Series.
If Pierre had played, he could have had another ring in another box.
Instead, it is up to the voters to give him something even greater.
It's not too late to honor pure hitting.
It's not too late to recognize skill need not come at any price.
It's not too late.
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Hey, this is brilliant
Is this your first Fanpost here? If it is, nice way to start, even though you know I give JP no chance in hell of getting 3,000 hits.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
This was an obvious parity. Their was someone else who nailed Plaschke even better, it was scarry
I do appreciate the notion of keeping up on the “no way in hell” Pierre 3000 mark watch though. Who knows maybe he will hit till he’s 47.
Some might call it
a parody.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
by Phil Gurnee on Dec 17, 2009 11:33 AM PST up reply actions
Now you have me confused
which one is an equivalence between farmers’ current purchasing power and their purchasing power at a selected base period maintained by government support of agricultural commodity prices?
That’s the one I mint.
He has three thousand reasons to say yes and six hundred and fifty pushes in the right direction.
I couldn’t figure out what the six hundred and fifty pushes were.
“We now fast-foward you in time ten years. In that time, everything has gone right for Pierre. He has 3,000 hits and 650 stolen bases. "
The Ultimate Ned's Kind of Guy
by Humma Kavula on Dec 17, 2009 1:52 PM PST up reply actions
I am always thrilled to see others write fake Plaschke
The one thing I would say is that you want to include sentence fragment lines here and there. Maybe someting like this.
He has three thousand reasons to say yes and six hundred and fifty pushes in the right direction.
And one big reason to cheer
Heart.
Maybe that’s just a stylistic preference, but I’m hoping that we can get writing fake Plaschke down to a science. Then maybe real Plaschke will have to either learn to write something intelligent, use prose, or just be a panelist on Around the Horn.
Thanks — I’m always open to constructive criticism, and I think you’re right — I could have had more sentence fragments.
Still, I think my biggest problem with this piece is the date.
The LA Times still existing in 2019? Yeah, right.
The Ultimate Ned's Kind of Guy
by Humma Kavula on Dec 21, 2009 9:58 AM PST up reply actions
Maybe three fragments weren’t enough. I wonder what Plaschke’s sentence fragment to actual sentence ratio is?
And one big reason to cheer.
The best revenge.
And became the team’s MVP.
The commenter formerly known as El Lay Dave.
I’m willing to bet it’s entirely random. The general idea of it I get is that you have to write like you think you’re a brilliant poet, and then be cheesy and poorly reasoned. He also likes to reuse some of the patterns he does use (scene a, scene b; some say, some say, some say, I say). I’d do a study, but that would involve reading too much Plaschke.
by StolenMonkey86 on Dec 22, 2009 6:50 PM PST up reply actions
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