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PIERRE? HE GETS MY HALL PASS

After the 2007 season, Bill James's Favorite Toy gave Juan Pierre about a 30% chance at 3,000 hits, which of course has historically been an automatic entry to the Hall of Fame. The idea that Juan Pierre, who is not good at baseball, could have even an unrealistic but non-zero chance at the Hall of Fame, was surprising.

Since then, Pierre's playing time has dropped and his chances even slimmer. As the White Sox make him a full-time player again, the embers of his hopes for the Hall burn and could once again become a raging fire.

We now fast-foward you in time ten years.  In that time, everything has gone right for Pierre.  He has 3,000 hits and 650 stolen bases.  

We now present Bill Plaschke's column from December 10, 2019, making the case for Juan Pierre, Hall of Famer.

This was posted earlier today on Dodger Thoughts. I repost it here at David's request.

Star-divide

PIERRE? HE GETS MY HALL PASS

by Bill Plaschke

December 10, 2019

He has a ring in a box.

He has three thousand reasons to say yes and six hundred and fifty pushes in the right direction.

And one big reason to cheer.

Though Juan Pierre was mocked by the know-it-alls-who-know-nothing during his time in L.A., and jettisoned by the disasters that were the McCourts just to save a few pennies, he became a fan favorite.

L.A. fans liked his speed.

They respected his work ethic.

And they loved that he did it cleanly.

In an era marred by steroids, the Hall of Fame has seen fit to block such players as Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, and that biggest Dodger cheater of them all, Manny Ramirez, from baseball's highest honor.

And now, the know-it-alls-who-know-nothing are saying that a guy who did it without the drugs, without cheating, and still reached a level of hits that has ensured election for every other player who got there, doesn't deserve it.

That's garbage.

"I always gave my best to every team," Pierre says today. "Some didn't appreciate my game. I don't want to say anything about that. The Hall of Fame would be enough."

Indeed it would. The best revenge.

Pierre's proudest moment as a Dodger came in 2009, when Ramirez was busted for taking female fertility drugs that mask steroid use.

Pierre stepped up to the plate and did what he always did.

He swung.

And became the team's MVP.

Still, the Dodgers inexplicably played Ramirez when he was eligible again. And again, the Dodgers missed the World Series.

If Pierre had played, he could have had another ring in another box.

Instead, it is up to the voters to give him something even greater.

It's not too late to honor pure hitting.

It's not too late to recognize skill need not come at any price.

It's not too late.

6 recs  |  Comment 13 comments |

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Comments

Display:

Hey, this is brilliant

Is this your first Fanpost here? If it is, nice way to start, even though you know I give JP no chance in hell of getting 3,000 hits.

Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen

by Phil Gurnee on Dec 15, 2009 10:47 PM PST reply actions  

Rec'ed

Hilarious each time I read it.

The commenter formerly known as El Lay Dave.

by David Young on Dec 16, 2009 1:35 PM PST reply actions  

This was an obvious parity. Their was someone else who nailed Plaschke even better, it was scarry

I do appreciate the notion of keeping up on the “no way in hell” Pierre 3000 mark watch though. Who knows maybe he will hit till he’s 47.

by Cool Dudes on Dec 16, 2009 10:03 PM PST reply actions  

Some might call it

a parody.

Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen

by Phil Gurnee on Dec 17, 2009 11:33 AM PST up reply actions  

Now you have me confused

which one is an equivalence between farmers’ current purchasing power and their purchasing power at a selected base period maintained by government support of agricultural commodity prices?

That’s the one I mint.

by Cool Dudes on Dec 17, 2009 9:14 PM PST up reply actions  

He has three thousand reasons to say yes and six hundred and fifty pushes in the right direction.

I couldn’t figure out what the six hundred and fifty pushes were.

by Tripon on Dec 17, 2009 12:50 PM PST reply actions  

“We now fast-foward you in time ten years. In that time, everything has gone right for Pierre. He has 3,000 hits and 650 stolen bases. "

The Ultimate Ned's Kind of Guy

by Humma Kavula on Dec 17, 2009 1:52 PM PST up reply actions  

I am always thrilled to see others write fake Plaschke

The one thing I would say is that you want to include sentence fragment lines here and there. Maybe someting like this.

He has three thousand reasons to say yes and six hundred and fifty pushes in the right direction.

And one big reason to cheer

Heart.

Maybe that’s just a stylistic preference, but I’m hoping that we can get writing fake Plaschke down to a science. Then maybe real Plaschke will have to either learn to write something intelligent, use prose, or just be a panelist on Around the Horn.

by StolenMonkey86 on Dec 20, 2009 8:48 PM PST reply actions  

Thanks — I’m always open to constructive criticism, and I think you’re right — I could have had more sentence fragments.

Still, I think my biggest problem with this piece is the date.

The LA Times still existing in 2019? Yeah, right.

The Ultimate Ned's Kind of Guy

by Humma Kavula on Dec 21, 2009 9:58 AM PST up reply actions  

The LA times may not exist in 10 years but rest assured that Bill Plaschke will still be typing articles in the abandoned Times building and grumbling about Mannt

If we yield now, all is over; but if we fight, there is yet a hope that we may stand upright

by Sordid on Dec 21, 2009 3:04 PM PST up reply actions  

Maybe three fragments weren’t enough. I wonder what Plaschke’s sentence fragment to actual sentence ratio is?

And one big reason to cheer.
The best revenge.
And became the team’s MVP.

The commenter formerly known as El Lay Dave.

by David Young on Dec 21, 2009 8:26 PM PST up reply actions  

I’m willing to bet it’s entirely random. The general idea of it I get is that you have to write like you think you’re a brilliant poet, and then be cheesy and poorly reasoned. He also likes to reuse some of the patterns he does use (scene a, scene b; some say, some say, some say, I say). I’d do a study, but that would involve reading too much Plaschke.

by StolenMonkey86 on Dec 22, 2009 6:50 PM PST up reply actions  

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NL West Standings

W L PCT GB STRK
San Diego 76 59 .562 0 Lost 10
San Francisco 76 61 .554 1 Won 2
Colorado 72 64 .529 4.5 Won 3
Los Angeles 69 68 .503 8 Lost 2
Arizona 56 81 .408 21 Lost 2

(updated 9.5.2010 at 7:48 PM PDT)

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2010 Dodger Payroll

Pos No Player 2010 Salary
C 28 Barajas $117,486
1B 7 Loney $3,100,000
2B  13 Theriot $909,290
3B 23 Blake $6,000,000
SS 15 Furcal $8,500,000
LF  21 Podsednik $640,710
CF 27 Kemp $4,000,000
RF 16 Ethier $6,000,000

SS/2B/3B 14 Carroll $1,475,000
OF 5 Johnson $850,000
2B/3B/1B 3 Belliard $825,000
OF/1B 31 Gibbons $155,738
C 12 Ausmus $850,000
C 17 Ellis $332,241
IF 60 Hu $74,350
PH/1B Lindsey $61,202
1B/3B Mitchell $61,202

SP 22 Kershaw $440,000
SP 58 Billingsley $3,850,000
SP 18 Kuroda $14,100,000
SP  29 Lilly $1,696,721
SP 44 Padilla $4,025,000

CL 56 Kuo $950,000
RHP 51 Broxton $4,000,000
RHP  26 Dotel $636,612
RHP 74
Jansen $159,563
RHP 54 Belisario $297,541
RHP 38 Troncoso $297,792
RHP 36 Weaver $800,000
LHP 52 Sherrill $4,500,000
RHP 37 Monasterios $460,000
RHP  48 Ely $222,951
RHP 50 Link $109,649

DL 59 Schlichting $185,792
DL 55 Martin $5,050,000

Manny $7,267,760


Pierre $4,000,000


Andruw $3,600,000


Schmidt $2,000,000


Wolf $2,000,000


Hudson $1,440,000


Nomar $1,250,000
Anderson $409,699
Ra.Ortiz $349,727
AAA 45 Miller $292,623
DeWitt $266,612


Ohman $200,000
AAA 49 Haeger $195,393
AAA 47 Wade $194,514
AAA 30 Paul $131,147


Repko $122,951
DFA 33 Castro $118,033
Green $96,175
Ru.Ortiz $63,934
DFA 35
Taschner $39,344


Zerpa $35,000
McDonald $28,771
AAA 57 Elbert $6,557
AAA
Hoffmann ($25,000)


Stults ($400,000)

Totals
$99,415,960
 
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