Manny Being Manny Reality Show

You can order the DVD of "As The Manny Turns" by sending 19.99 via paypal to dreadlocksforhire@gmail.com. Below is quick summary of the top selling reality show and can be seen in repeats on MLB TV.

Episode One - May 2008 - Joining an Exclusive Club

Manny hit his 500th home run,  becoming the 24th player in MLB history to do so. He joined two other Red Sox players, Jimmie Foxx and Ted Williams in this exclusive home run club. You can watch a snippet for free of this episode here.

Episode Two - June 2008 I'll Slap you Silly, Bitch

Manny and his teammate Kevin Youkilis go at it during a game against the Tampa Bay Rays. Manny had a headache and was tired of hearing his teammate complain about the strikezone. He finally reached his full of the Greek God of Walks and his childlike behavior and bitch slapped him in a way  that would have made HIMYM happy. This drove up rating so the network asked Manny to keep up the routine.

He bowed to their request and not content with just slapping  around a teammate he  decided to take it a step further and shoved to the ground Red Sox traveling secretary Jack McCormick. The two were arguing over Ramirez's large game-day request for 16 tickets to the game in Houston, when Ramirez reportedly threw McCormick to the ground after saying "Just do your job." They didn't get the actual altercation on tape but plenty of good quotes came from it. However this kind of behavior backfired and Manny got lots of bad ink, probably because Jack was 62 years old.

Episode Three:  Get me out of this place

For several years Manny tried to get traded and the Network thought it would be a coup if they could film in LA instead of filming in Boston. Together with his new agent Scott Boras they devised a plan that would send Manny out of Boston and onto LA.  Manny was told to fake  a knee injury and only play on occasion. Manny being Manny didn't quite understand the plan and smacked the crap out of the ball when he played but he did complain alot which got the action the Network and Scott Boras wanted. On July 31st Manny was traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers who called home right above Hollywood. The Network saved some filming costs while Scott Boras got Manny to give up two 20 Million Dollar options and arbitration. Manny showing all the guile of former Dodger Pedro complied with all these requests because Boras had assured him that he had 4 year 100 million dollar payday in his future and Boras would get all of the commissions on the new contract. 

Episode Four: Dreadlocks in the House

Things started out well as they begin the episode with everyone trying to guess what number Manny would be wearing when he ran out to LF for his 1st game. He had always worn 24 but that had been worn and retired by Walter Alston. 28 was suggested by the Dodgers but Manny wanted 34. However  Fernando was the last to wear that number and while it wasn't retired it wasn't about to be broken out for Manny. After much negotiation he decided to wear number 99. While the biggest discussion going on was about his dreadlocks, he got off to a bang hitting four home runs in his first six games. While the episode started off with a bang it ended with a whimper as the Dodgers lost  eight games in a row near the end of August. The rating started slipping. Manny only hit one home run during the losing spell and his magic seemed to be waning.

Episode Five: Sweet September

The network was considering dropping the show as the Dodgers and Manny were stumbling headed into Sept but the worm turned and together they created a Sept that legends are made of. Manny didn't hit any better in Sept then he did in Aug but the team won and won and turned a 2.5 game deficit into a 2 game Division Championship. Dreadlocks and 99 were the rage in Chavez Ravine and "As Manny Turns" became the top rated show for  MLB TV

Episode Six ; October Goodbye

Manny didn't disappoint his fans and led the Dodgers to a sweep of the Cubs. The show continued to get great rating everywhere but in Chicago. The highest rating were not in LA,  they were in Boston as they couldn't keep their eyes off their Cain.  Dollar signs were everywhere. The network expected the Dodgers to beat the Phillies and meet the Red Sox in the World Series. Scott Boras expected Manny's postseason performance would trigger an outpouring of offers for his client. They don't call it reality for nothing. Even with the best efforts of Manny the Dodgers fell to the Phillies. The Red Sox fell to the upstart Rays. The show went in hiatus as Manny was last seen proclaiming

Gas is up and so am I

leaving little doubt that he was expecting a huge payday for his legendary performance in a Dodger uniform. Just like that he skipped out of town with no one knowing if  they would ever see him again.

The Show went on hiatus but returned this last February.

Episode Seven: You paid what for Ibanez and I'm still looking for a job!!!!!!

Many things happened since Manny walked away from Chavez Ravine expecting to be paid accordingly with his performance. After all his agent Boras had assured him that 4 years was a piece of cake and that he might even get five or six. However in a perfect storm the price of gas crashed, the stock market crashed, the economy crashed, Boras pissed off many owners with how he handled the Teixeira negotiations, the market for LF/DH players crashed. The only people who came out a head were the free agents who settled early or who were lucky enough to hold the interest of the Yankee's.  Players like Manny, Dunn, Griffy, Abreu, and Anderson were still left on the outside looking in. The AL teams either had no money or the teams with money had no need for a DH. The NL teams weren't inclined to spend money on one dimensional hitters no matter how good they were in that one dimension. Manny was clearly the best of the lot but is he 4 times better then the others? Boras tried to create intrigue by insisting other teams were interested in his client but every time he tried to pull this old charade the general managers or managers decided to blunt this effort by declaring emphatically they had no interest in his client. This kind of painted him into a corner that he has yet to acknowledge. He has had three offers since the season ended.

1. Two years 46 Million from the Dodgers.

2. Arbitration from the Dodgers

3. One year 25 Million from the Dodgers

He turned all of them down without a counter.

Boras tried to use his tool, Sports Illustrated Heyman but to little effect. An unexpected ally showed up in Larry Bowa who mouthed off on how important Manny was to the team.  Bowa was quickly called to the carpet by management and the next time he opened his mouth he had a slightly different tune.

As they turn down each offer Boras and Frank are clearly playing chicken and nothing gets better ratings then a good game of chicken. However in every game of chicken someone gets burned. That is the question as we wait for the next episode.

1. Will Manny get his payday?

2. Will the Dodgers get their LF?

3. Can Boras find his way out of this corner?

Until next time on "As Manny Turns"

The Dodger world waits with bated breath.

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