Duck Talk

via scrapetv.com 

 For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the clichéd responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this most of this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Aflac Duck: The Dodgers come home with their tails between their legs. Nothing went right, either the team was hitting when the pitching was getting shelled, or the hitting stopped when the pitching was doing the job. Through out it all the team played the worse defense many of us can ever remember a team playing. If you could focus on one thing that was the catalyst for such a disastrous start to the season what would it be?

NC: Matt Kemp's defense is probably the key to our poor start. 

Aflac Duck: Why is Matt Kemps defense so poor this year?

NC:  Why is it? Because he got a new deal? Can’t tell you. But you know, it’s below-average. If this is the last day of the season and people are voting for the Gold Glove, his name is not even on the ballot. It’s a shame that he would go from where he was a year ago to revert back to when the ball goes up in the air and you’re not sure where it’s going, or if it’s going to get caught.

Aflac Duck: Wow Ned, your not pulling any punches. At least you didn't blame it on Rhianna. Seems a stretch to question his deal, but the reality is that his defense does suck but since he's your only center fielder you are going to have to roll with it.  What do you think of Rhianna and Matt?

NC: No comment

Aflac Duck: I don't get it myself. That June Lockhart forehead scares me.  I'd be worried if Rhianna hooked up with John Ireland, then if they had kids you'd have to worry about that combo forehead. I'm not one to talk with my bill or anything, just saying.  I hope I don't get to many emails from those who suffer from elongated forehead syndrome, I understand your pain, I just choose to make fun of it.  

Aflac Duck: I tweeted your comments on Matt's defense. Seems the mouths are not taking kindly to you dumping on the Dodger franchise player. This is what Dave Stewart just said

What I would suggest for Ned Colletti to do is look at himself in the mirror

NC: You asked me about his defense, I answered the question, what is the problem?

Aflac Duck: I don't know. I wouldn't have a show if you didn't answer my questions. Maybe being brutally honest isn't what they they want to hear from the GM.Oh, he we go; Dave just answered your question.

No, not at all. To me, he didn't need to answer the question. If anything, he should have said, ‘No comment.'

Aflac Duck: So Dave thinks you should not answer questions that would be put your players in a negative light. As an interviewer I'd have to disagree. We can understand where Dave is coming from because Matt is his client, but I'm seeing comments all over the internet about how you bungled this.

NC: I got a lot of respect for Dave Stewart and Matt Kemp, I've known Dave Stewart for a long time. His perspective is his. Everybody's got their own. That's all I want to say about it.

Aflac Duck: I've just seen this comment from noted TBLA commentator Humma Kuvala who is famous for Spawn of Kuvala and nothing else. Humma was asked what is the point of a GM doing these interviews if they aren't going to honestly answer the questions. What do you think of it?

Going on these shows is a PR maxim: if you don’t tell your story, somebody else will tell it for you. Going on a show is Ned’s opportunity to give the Dodgers’ official take on things.

Colletti could have said something like, "Kemp’s had a few miscues this season, no doubt about it, both in the field and on the basepaths. But he proved last year that he is a Gold Glove centerfielder and he stole over X (was it 30?) bases. I wouldn’t be too quick to trash him."

Instead, implying he’s now below average, has taken a step back, and we don’t know what we’re going to get from him — I think that qualifies as going too far.

Also this: it’s one thing for you and I, the public, to say what we will about Kemp. It is quite another for a person in a position of power to say it. He has a responsibility to be more circumspect.

NC:Well I guess if I had the hind-site to study the question in detail and prepare a written answer I might have answered in that diplomatic way. However you blindsided me with the question, and I answered from the top of my head. If I had been any good in PR work I might have stayed in it, instead I downgraded into a baseball management career.

Aflac Duck: Most of the criticism seems to be coming from the mouths of the internet which are not very Ned friendly in the first place. Seems to this duck that it is a little hypo critical. I still maintain that if you had been talking about Juan Pierre's defense last year or Blake DeWitt's defense this year no one would said a critical word about your honesty. And lets face it, you are right. Matt Kemps defense has blown. His base running has blown. That is why I asked the question. I didn't ask you what you thought of his offense because the best player on the team is expected to be the best player on the team.  I'm a little concerned that with all this criticism of your honesty that you won't be honest with me anymore and these interviews will become pointless. Tell me that isn't so Ned, tell me you will continue to answer the questions that I ask that the fans are interested in hearing?

NC: No comment

Aflac Duck: Are you worried that Manny will be able to stay healthy enough to play LF in a non DH league?

NC: No comment.

Aflac Duck: What do you think of Blake DeWitt's defense so far?

NC: No Comment

Aflac Duck: Does Chad Billingsley have emotional issues that might keep him from reaching his potential?

NC: No Comment

Aflac Duck: What did you think of the job the two guys you got in the Pierre did?

NC: No comment

Aflac Duck: What do you think of Russell Martins sloppy play behind the plate with a runner on 3rd?

NC: No comment

Aflac Duck: What do you think of Loney's lack of power?

NC: It is disturbing that Loney has yet to exhibit the power we need from our 1st baseman. He better get with it or I'm going ship his ass out for Chris Davis. That guy has plenty of power.

Aflac Duck: Whoa Ned, comments like that will start up another firestorm. I think you were better off doing no comments then being honest. I can't even imagine how up in arms the mouths are going to be after seeing you give the lowdown on one of the most popular Dodgers. Impugning his power. How dare you. This interview is over.

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