Where did it all start?
Was it counting on a 38 year old left fielder to be the center of the offense?
Was it counting on the same production from a 37 year old 3rd baseman?
Was it counting on a career minor league knuckleballer whose work the previous summer had offered some hope?
Was it sending a perfectly serviceable back end starter to Japan instead of finding a spot for him on the roster?
Was it being too enamored with a Rule V pitcher with no apparent upside, thus taking a roster spot from the home grown talent that was sent to AAA to percolate and ferment to their hearts content as they watched their spot being taken by some outsider who had done nothing to deserve it?
Was it wasting innings on the Ortiz?
Was it wasting at bats on an old left handed outfielder whose skills were so long gone only two people in Los Angeles felt he belonged on the team?
Was it the stubbornness that persisted in giving pointless at bats against left hand pitching to those starters who can't hit left handed pitching?
Was it the GM chiding the Gold Glove/Silver Slugger center fielder about his contract, and defensive indifference while he was in the midst of knocking the crap out of the ball?
Was it the childish behavior of the check writers whose off the field antics were the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to this proud franchise?
In the end it was all of those things but the one that hurt the most was the one very few saw coming, counting too much on the offensive core to actually perform when the crutch in LF was unable to play. My optimism has been shattered, I no longer feel I can trust these players with my hope. These are players that I begged for management to play. Betrayal is how I feel. It is not the players fault I expected so much, it is my own. That is even harder to deal with.
I like to think I know something, what I know, is that I know nothing.