Crazy Eddie Holds A Sale
by Phil Gurnee on Oct 31, 2011 2:12 PM PDT
in FanFiction
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PrintDisclaimer - this is FICTION, just in case you don't understand, THIS IS FICTION
Disclaimer - the salaries may not be exact matches but not enough to make much difference.
Frank - Eddie, I've been told to get payroll below 55,000,000 for the start of the year by the bankruptcy court and numerous know it all's have told me you are the only man for the job. Can you do it? Can you cut our salary and provide an exciting team so that we only lose about 30% of the season ticket holders?
Crazy Eddie - I've been chafing at the bit to do this all winter, I'm ready, I need three things. A pussycat, a plumber, and every report your scouting staff has ever created. Give me 24 hours to get ready.
Crazy Eddie - Josie and Eric Stephanski, I need you here stat.
24 Hours Later: OLD School Style
Crazy Eddie - Josie get me Dave Stewart on the line
Josie - Mr. Stewart is on line one
Crazy Eddie - Hey Dave, I'm going to be straight. I can have this conversation with you because right now Matt Kemp is Dodger property but we can't afford him this year. Everything will be different in 2012 when we will be flush with cash but for now I've been ordered to move the high rent players. So I'm going to try to put Matt in the best position to win in 2012. In return, I just want you know that the whole organization has loved having Matt Kemp play for us and if he is a free agent next winter we will go hard to bring him back.
Dave Stewart - Matt is going to be devastated, he loves this team and town. If you want any chance to sign him next year you'll have to trade him to a NL team. He hates the AL, the whole idea of a player not playing the field makes him want to go Chris Brown.
Crazy Eddie - Yes, we will do our best to make a deal in the NL.
Dave Stewart - Good luck, be talking to you next year
Crazy Eddie - Josie, get me Ted Lilly's agent on the line
Josie - he's on line two
Crazy - Hey this is Eddie, I'm giving you and Ted the heads up. I know Ted has a no trade but I've been ordered by Frank to slash payroll, and I'm moving everyone I can. If Ted stays he's going to have no one under the age of 25 on the team so I thought I'd ask for his permission to trade him.
Agent - Ted loves it in LA, I told him not to sign with you crazy bastards. He loved Chicago I'm sure he'd agree to pitch for them again. If you can make that happen, I'm sure he will agree to it.
Crazy Eddie - Thanks, I'll see what I can do
Crazy Eddie - Josie get Frank Wren on the line stat
Josie - Frank is waiting on line one
Crazy Eddie - Frank, this is Eddie, I'm going to move Matt Kemp in the next 12 hours and I'm giving you first shot. Once I hang up with you I'm calling Amaro, and after I talk to Amaro I'm talking to Mozeliak. One way or another Matt is going to end up in the NL so if you don't want to see Matt Kemp playing against you, listen carefully. Jason Heyward is the centerpiece. I also want Beachy and Teheran.
Frank - Get out of here, I'm not giving you those three.
Crazy Eddie - Fine, Josie get me Amaro on the line
Frank - Now wait a minute, I'm not saying I'm not interested but that is too much. How about Heyward and Jose Constanza?
Crazy Eddie - Nah, I need one of your young pitchers, you have a plethora of arms, and I'm going to need some. Tell you what, I could be persuaded if you add Medlan.
Frank - Medlan, hell no we love Medlan.
Crazy Eddie - JOSIE Is Amaro on the line yet? Frank, we are talking about the BEST PLAYER IN BASEBALL
Frank - FUCK, fine Heyward and Medlan for Kemp
Matt Kemp to Braves for Kris Medlen and Heyward
Crazy Eddie - Josie get me Mozeliak on the line
Josie - Eddie, John Mozeliak is on line two
Crazy Eddie - Hey John, sorry to hear about you losing Albert to Theo. I'm moving some players and since you are moving Berkman to 1st base I thought you might be interested in Andre for right field to help you out.
John - What's his deal?
Crazy Eddie - we think he'll make around 12 - 13 in Arbitration, his leg is fine and he'll be the Andre of April for you.
John - Sounds enticing, what are you looking for?
Crazy Eddie - we need some 3rd base help and you got this kid Zach Cox who is going to be stuck behind your World Series hero. I want him and a starter and I'm not going to bullshit you, I've got to much respect for that. We want Cox and Marc Rzepczynski or Lance Lynn. You got Wainwright coming back, you got Shelby Miller just about ready to go. Either one works for us.
John - this might work, we need a right handed CF to help out Jay. How about Andre and Silverio for Cox and Rzepczynski. We'll let you figure out if he can make the successful conversion to starter instead of us.
Crazy Eddie - damn we are close, hate to trade Silverio, he's kind of in our picture as our right handed center fielder. If you make it Lynn instead of Rzepczynski I'll do it.
John - Seems much for a platoon hitter. We might just go with Craig full time.
Crazy Eddie - sure, you do that but what happens when Holliday goes does down with a pinky nash? Think of the production an Ethier/Craig combo would produce? Not to mention the protection you get if Berkman hurts that old body of his?
John - Crap, I'll do it, Andre for Cox and Rzepczynski. Deal
Andre to Cardinals for Zach Cox and Marc Rzepczynski* (Pujols signs with Cubs, Berkman moves to 1st)
Crazy Eddie - Josie get me Cherington on the line, and some damn coffee, this shit is as cold as a witches tit
Josie slithers in, pours the coffee, and announces I'll have Mr. Cherington on the line by the time you burn your throat
Crazy Eddie - Hey Ben, this is Eddie from the Dodgers, how is the gig going?
Ben - what do you want you west coast slime ball, trying to peddle me Uribe? I may be new but I'm not an idiot
Crazy Eddie - hey now, I wouldn't do that, I respect you. I'm looking at your team and you seem to be in desperate need of some quality pitching. You got a nice big three but in that division that will get something like what 3rd place? Ha Ha
Ben - You so desperate you are moving Cy Young?
Crazy Eddie - damn right, but not 2011 Cy Young, I'm' talking about 2013 Cy Young. You put Chad Billingsley in the right organization and he'll be the guy who can get you back in the hunt.
Ben - Billingsley huh, I might be interested. What are you looking for?
Crazy Eddie - We are moving everyone so I need some parts. I've heard you are a straight shooter so I'm going to be up front with our wish list. I want Lavarnway, he's not a good enough catcher for major league baseball, and with Gonzo on 1st you have him blocked. I've heard you are going to resign ORtiz so he'd just be wasting time here. Plus that utility infielder Lowrie, and the fourth outfielder Reddick.
Ben - that's alot for someone like Billingsley. Kind of counting on Reddick on being our starting RF.
Crazy Eddie - don't fool with a fool. No way the Red Sox are planning on heading into 2012 with Josh Reddick as your right fielder. You know you are going to spend some money there. You can save the money that you don't waste on CJ or EJ by getting Chad and spending on a real hitter that Boston nation won't laugh at.
Ben - that's still alot to ask for
Crazy Eddie - Billingsley is a hell of pitcher, good contract, good character, Boston Nation is going to love him.
Ben - fine, but I need more before I give you all three. As much as Chad would add value to our rotation that is alot of young cheap talent I'd be moving. If you add in Songco and Lemmerman we could make a deal.
Crazy Eddie - Deal
Billingsley, Songco, and Lemmerman to Red Sox for Lavarnway, Lowrie, Reddick
Josie - Eddie, Mr. Melvin is on line 3
Crazy Eddie - Hey Doug, sorry to hear about Prince, bit shocked the Rangers got him what can I help you with
Doug - Yea, that is what I'm calling about. We need a 1st baseman and the word is that you are moving everyone. We'd like first crack at getting Loney before everyone else calls. We can offer you two fine young players like Matt Gamel and Nyjer Morgan.
Crazy Eddie - we were thinking of keeping Loney. He hit a ton in the second half and is not that expensive that we couldn't keep him. Gamel and the crazy bastard wouldn't get it done. We need a 3rd baseman or a starting pitcher. Something like Wily Peralta would get it done, though I'm reluctant to move James.
Doug - that's our best pitching prospect but we do need that Loney bat. What are asking for Matt Kemp?
Crazy Eddie - He's gone, Andre is gone, Billingsley is gone. You want Ted Lilly?
Doug - No, how about Gamel and Estrada instead of Peralta?
Crazy Eddie - Dont think so
Crazy Eddie - Josie get me Jed Hoyer on the line
Josie - Mr Hoyer is on line one
Crazy Eddie - Hi Jed, this is Eddie, wanted to congratulate you on bringing in Albert, quite a coup for your new group.
Jed Hoyer - Thanks, but I suspect you have something else you want to talk about.
Crazy Eddie - Yeah, I was looking over your pitching and even with Albert you are going to need some help. As you may have heard we are moving everyone and was wondering if you'd have some interest in bringiing Ted Lilly back. He was good for you and he'd help solidify that shaky rotation even if you do sign CJ Wilson.
Jed Hoyer - I heard he had a no trade is he going to want some incentive to waive it? Who are you looking for back from us?
Crazy Eddie - Nothing much, maybe something like Blake DeWitt, Vitters, Marquez Smith, or Tyler Colvin, depending on how much salary you take on.
Jed Hoyer - we were thinking of Lilly when we heard the news about the clean out. How about something like Tyler Colvin and you send us 4 Million this year and 4 Million in 2013?
Crazy Eddie - I can't do that, best I can do is 4 Million this year. He's a heck of a pitcher for $9 Million, you know what you get with him. Not like that crazy bastard you have, do you think Pujols will settle him down?
Jed Hoyer - Yeah, I think he will. Theo is going to want some money in 2013 to offset his salary. How about 2 Million in 2013?
Crazy Eddie - Okay, you get Lilly, $4 Million in now, and $2 Million in 2013 and we get Tyler Colvin - Deal
Ted Lilly and $4 Million to Cubs for Tyler Colvin
Crazy Eddie - Josie, get me that rascal Larry Beinfest on the line
Josie - Mr Beinfest is on line five
Crazy Eddie - Larry you ole son of a gun, how you doing? Must be great with a new stadium and Ozzie?
Larry - Eddie Eddie Eddie, why do I feel like you need something?
Crazy Eddie - Heck I don't need anything, you need something and I've got it. I bet Ozzie is bugging you right now about finding him a veteran 3rd baseman after you failed to land Aramis. Who knew the Angels still had money? Anyway I've got one of his old favorites, he'd love for Juan Uribe to be his 3rd baseman.
Larry - Uribe, shit he has been talking about Uribe for weeks. We looked at his contract and it is to expensive for us, we can't pay him $8 Million. Maybe 4 Million.
Crazy Eddie - Hmm, I think we could send you 4 Million if you send us our local boy Matt Dominguez back to us. Doesn't look like he has the bat but we are rebuilding with pitching and defense for the time being. Unless of course you want to talk about Mike Stanton?
Larry - Mike Stanton, hell you'd have to send us Clayton Kershaw for Mike Stanton. Dang, Eddie that is kind of the opposite of pitching and defense.
Crazy Eddie - Yea, but here it is. Clayton for Stanton, Dominguez, and Coughlin but you have take all of Uribe and Guerrier contracts. Cy Young Larry, Cy Young
Larry - Damn that trade would set the world on fire. I'm sorely tempted, sorely tempted. Let me get back to you.
Crazy Eddie - Josie, get me Bill Smith on the line.
Josie - Mr. Smith is on line one
Crazy Eddie - Hi Bill, as you know we are making deals here and we got someone I think you missed terribly last year. Now I know his contract is little high for you but we will send you some money.
Bill Smith - Guerrier, heck ya, we loved that guy and we could use the help. What do you got and what do you want.
Crazy Eddie - Trying to rebuild the rotation so we'd like to take a chance on Slowey, we think he'd fit in nicely at Dodger Stadium while you need some power what with everything that has happened to your power hitters. We just picked up Tyler Colvin from the Cubs and we think he and Matt along with $2 Million would be a good deal for both teams.
Bill Smith - Colvin huh, he does have huge power potential. I heard you also picked up Lavarnway, how about him, we will take the whole salary of Matt if you make it Lavarnway.
Crazy Eddie - Hmmm, that is enticing but we need him.
Bill Smith - Okay, Colvin is worth a shot and we'd really like to have Matt setting up again. Deal
Tyler Colvin/Guerrier/2.5 Million to Twins for Slowey.
Crazy Eddie - Josie I need more coffee, I'm dying here, plus get me Shapiro on the phone
Josie - coming up, Mr. Shapiro is on line two
Crazy Eddie - Mark you must love hearing from me. How is our boy Carlos doing for you? I've heard you are going to move him to 1st base? Guess my scouts were right he couldn't stick at catcher, friggin idiots.
Mark - Doing great, can't wait for 2012, hell of a young infield we will have.
Crazy Eddie - Love the infield, that is why I'm calling. We need some spare parts for our infield you have some players who are blocked now. Looking to acquire Hanahan and Phelps. We have this solid switch hitting catcher named Geoff Erickson who might be able to help you out in a year since you are moving Carlos to 1st. We have some big arm relief pitchers in AA, guys like Aames, Tolleson, and Ethan Martin. What do you think?
Mark - You know I owe you for Santana but we aren't trading Hanahan that cheaply.
Crazy Eddie - Okay, I'll get back to you.
Josie - Eddie, Larry Beinfest is on line three
Crazy Eddie - Hey Larry, ready to make history?
Larry - Tempted but we can't do it. Stanton is our guy. However I told Ozzie and he was ecstatic at getting Uribe back. So we will take Juan, but you have to throw in $4 Million this year if you want Dominguez back. Just heard you picked up Lavarnway, interested in moving him?
Crazy Eddie - Only we can get Logan Morrison back in the deal? How about something like Lavarnway, Guerra, Reddick, Uribe and $4 Million for Logan Morrison and Matt Dominquez
Larry - That will play
Crazy Eddie - Deal
Lavarnway, Guerra, Reddick, Juan Uribe + 4 Mill to Marlins for Logan Morrison, Matt Dominguez
Crazy Eddie - Josie, get me Brad Hawpe's agent
Josie - Got him on line one
Crazy Eddie - Hey buddy , this is Eddie from the Dodgers. Just heard the Padres bought out your boy Hawpe's option. We are rebuilding here, but I have room for a left handed 1st baseman/outfielder though all I can offer is $1 million. You might get more from someone else but remember Brad hits better in Dodger stadium then any other place. If he is going to make a comeback this might be the best place for him to give it a shot. Let me know
Josie - Eddie, Doug Melvin is on line two
Crazy Eddie - Hey Doug, what's cooking?
Doug - We've had a discussion, we will do it, Loney for Peralta.
Crazy Eddie - Hey now, that is more like it. Deal
Loney to Brewers for Wily Peralta
Josie - Eddie, Brad Hawpe's agent is on line one
Tired Crazy Eddie - hey buddy, what you got?
Hawpe Agent - Hawpe would love to play for the Dodgers but he'd like some incentives?
Tired Crazy Eddie - Sure, sure, but the base is $1 Million, we will work on the incentives tomorrow. Right now I'm going to pass out and sleep for an hour or two before I have to meet the press, but I got one more call to make. Josie get me Jed back on the line.
Josie - Mr. Hoyer is on line two
Crazy Eddie - Hey Jed, waiting to hear back from Shapiro but before I close that deal what do you want for DeWitt. Looks like I could use a left handed 3rd baseman for the bench.
Jed - Hmmm, when I told the staff we got Lilly back they told me to find out what you would want for Tolleson.
Crazy Eddie - Too much for a bench player, we've got big plans for Tolleson, we already moved Guerra so he's already penciled into the bullpen. How about two of Fife, Wall, Solano?
Jed - How about all three?
Crazy Eddie - ......................all right.
Fife, Wall, and Solano to the Cubs for Blake DeWitt
| Position | 2012 | MajorLeagueRoster | Minors AAA |
| C | $ 435,000.00 | AJ Ellis | Erickson |
| C | $ 435,000.00 | Tim Federowicz | Giminez |
| 1B/LH | $ 1,000,000.00 | Brad Hawpe | |
| 1B/RH | $ 435,000.00 | Jerry Sands | |
| 2B/Switch Hitter | $ 500,000.00 | Lowrie | DeJesus |
| 3B | $ 435,000.00 | Matt Dominguez | Zach Cox |
| SS | $ 435,000.00 | Dee Gordon | |
| LF | $ 600,000.00 | Logan Morrison | Russell |
| LF | $ 435,000.00 | Castlelannos | Van Slyke |
| RF | $ 600,000.00 | Jason Heyward | |
| CF | $ 1,100,000.00 | Tony Gwynn Jr. | |
| CF | $ 435,000.00 | Silverio | |
| 1st/3rd/OF | $ 435,000.00 | Blake DeWitt | |
| 2nd/SS | $ 435,000.00 |
Sellers |
|
| SP | $ 8,000,000.00 | Clayton Kershaw | Nathan Eovaldi |
| SP | $ 500,000.00 | Kris Medlen | Rubby De La Rosa |
| SP | $ 500,000.00 | Slowey | Webster |
| SP | $ 500,000.00 | Marc Rzepczynski* | Withrow |
| SP | $ 435,000.00 | Wily Peralta | Ely |
| Monk | |||
| LHSetup | $ 1,500,000.00 | Kuo | Eveland |
| MainSetup | $ 435,000.00 | Tolleson | |
| Setup | $ 435,000.00 | Josh Lindblom | Claire |
| Closer | $ 500,000.00 | Kenley Jansen | Martin |
| Setup | $ 500,000.00 | Blake Hawksworth | Aames |
| LHSetup | $ 435,000.00 | Scott Elbert | |
| $ 500,000.00 | Dana Eveland | ||
| $ 435,000.00 | Rubby De La Rosa | ||
| Dead Money | |||
| Manny Ramirez | $ 8,087,432.00 | $ 8,087,432.00 | |
| Juan Pierre | $ 3,000,000.00 | $ 3,000,000.00 | |
| Andruw Jones | $ 3,375,000.00 | $ 3,375,000.00 | |
| Kuroda | $ 2,000,000.00 | $ 2,000,000.00 | |
| Casey Blake | $ 1,250,000.00 | $ 1,250,000.00 | |
| Jon Garland | $ 1,500,000.00 | $ 1,500,000.00 | |
| Rafael Furcal | $ 2,000,000.00 | $ 2,000,000.00 | |
| Juan Uribe | $ 4,000,000.00 | $ 4,000,000.00 | |
| Guerrier | $ 2,500,000.00 | $ 2,500,000.00 | |
| Ted Lilly | $ 4,000,000.00 | $ 4,000,000.00 | |
| $ 53,732,432.00 | $ 31,712,432.00 |
Crazy Eddie Reasoning:
Other players I targeted but could not come up with reasonable offers, Travis Snider, Dustin McGowen, Aaron Crow. For any of this to work out, Jason Heyward has to become great. If that happens everything else falls into place. I've no doubt that by 2013/2014 an excellent rotation will be cobbled from Kershaw, Rubby, Medlan, Peralta, Lee, Webster, Eovaldi, Withrow, and Reed. The bullpen is young and strong. Hopefully between Dominguez and Cox one of them will become a solid 3rd baseman. Morrison or Sands with either become the LF or 1st baseman.
If Hawpe can show some life at Dodger Stadium that will be a plus, he'll take some pressure off of Sands facing tough righties. If he totally fails, then simply move Morrison to 1st full time, Sands to LF.
High Ceiling - Heyward
Above Average - Logan Morrison
Average - Lowrie, Dominquez, Cox
Sorry but I can't help but be enticed at what Hawpe could do at Dodger Stadium facing only right handers.
Are any of these deals practical? I think so but I could be completely off my rocker. It ain't easy being Crazy Eddie. The main goal was find some current good young arms that are already major league ready while waiting for Rubby to recover and several of Eovaldi, Webster, Withrow, Reed, Lee and Gould to percolate.
Adding free agent hitters in 2013 with 50 - 60 Million in available money after giving Kershaw his extension, great pick in the 2013 draft, along with the strong pitching should give the team a strong base for building from here.
SS - Gordon
CF - Gwynn / Silverio
LF - Morrison
RF - Heyward
1st - Sands / Hawpe
3rd - Dominguez / DeWitt
2nd - Lowrie
C - Fed / Ellis
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Comments
Other than the LoMo trade the deals seem mostly reasonable. And you totally stole my reacquire Blake DeWitt plan :)
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions
The deals are reasonable equity-wise, each on their own, but are you sure that you can get away with it if one or more of the deals falls though? Or would you be like DePodesta left holding the Brett Mayne bag?
Follow @DavidYoungTBLA
- The commenter formerly known as El Lay Dave.
Crazy Eddie always has alternatives, if you eat enough money anyone is tradeble. Lilly is the toughest because of the no – trade, very possible you end up with him. However if you are Lilly why would you want to pitch for a team that he’d be 10 years old then everyone else.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Then you trade Javy Guerra and Ryan Lavernaway for Logan Morrison. Now you’ve got yourself a team!
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Hey, they also got Josh Reddick whose defense alone over LoMo’s is something tangible.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Yeah, but three guys don’t fit into the rhythm of the now you’ve got yourself a team! routine.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions
I was thinking of
Mad Man Muntz
It's not what you look like, when you're doin' what you're doin'
It's what you're doin' when you're doin' what you look like you're doin'!
Are we going to have an official rosterbation thread this year, or is this going to become one?
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
Yes, just need to figure out a way to make a contest out of it.
And also to remind Table to put subject headers on his posts :)
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions
theres got to be a better way
for comments to be collapsible.
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
All ifxes will come
after the buyout
It's not what you look like, when you're doin' what you're doin'
It's what you're doin' when you're doin' what you look like you're doin'!
Is any of this unreasonable?
C-Ramon Hernandez (1 year + 1 year team option: $3 mil + $4 mil w/$400k buyout)
1B-James Loney
2B-Kelly Johnson (2 years + 1 year team option: $5.5mil, $6.5mil, then $7mil w/700k buyout)
3B-Juan Uribe
SS-Dee Gordon
LF-Jerry Sands
CF-Matt Kemp
RF-Andre Ethier
OF-Tony Gwynn (1 yr, $600k)
INF-Justin Sellers
INF-Jamey Carroll (1yr, $2.5m)
C-AJ Ellis
SP-Kershaw
SP-Billingsley
SP-Lilly
SP-Kuroda (1 yr, $8m)
SP-Mark Buehrle (2 years + 1 year option, $10mil, $10mil, $10mil or $1mil)
CL-Guerra
SU-Jansen
RP-Elbert
RP-Hawksworth
RP-Guerrier
RP-Lindblom
LOOGY-Sherrill (1 year, $1mil)
@TElciram
In the context of what Phil just did
all of it
It's not what you look like, when you're doin' what you're doin'
It's what you're doin' when you're doin' what you look like you're doin'!
I feel like Buerhle is going to be on the Sox for life, but the rest seems reasonable.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions
As a whole, i think that gets us to the playoffs and fills most holes, unless Johnson and Uribe bomb. Only problem is not extending Kemp or Kershaw.
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Also, I'm missing a bench player because i forgot that of the 9 players on the field, one's a pitcher
That’s only a 24-man roster.
Throw in Dejesus or an NRI like Miles/Blake, etc.
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions
I guess that’s the other problem, you’re expanding payroll by about 20 million.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Am I?
It adds about $30 million but isn’t that about how much is coming off the books?
This was originally a response to MSTI’s thread and he came up with the idea that we’d have 30mil to spend.
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Eric has payroll right now at 103 million and 2011 was at 114.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Looks like i'm increasing it by about $15mil
considering money for players who i included (like Gwynn) and players who i don’t have on the roster.. I also think that Ethier will make a bit less.
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions
The roster you listed, using the losse assumptions on the sidebar where you didn’t fill in a salary, is about $107 million.
But the Dodgers also have about $22.2 million in dead money that is not accounted for.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah.
I was counting the dead payroll as part of the salary.
Hence the $15mil increase.
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
The next best thing to playing and winning
is playing and losing
It's not what you look like, when you're doin' what you're doin'
It's what you're doin' when you're doin' what you look like you're doin'!
Seems harsh, looks good to me. Don’t think Buehle will be leaving but for the most part you have kept all the good things, fixed the hole at catcher, 2nd base. Better then most I’ve seen, I’d be okay heading into 2012 with that lineup.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Will agree it’s better than most I’ve seen as well. I fully expect Lilly to continue being hittable, Kuroda to become hittable and Billingsley to continue regressing. But that’s just me. I may be jobless here soon so I might have some time to put together a roster for fun.
Is 89 okay?
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions
ha, smartass.
If a pitcher throws even one fastball and the velocityreading starts with an 8, I don’t want him.
But Wandy Rodriguez….
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions
This is usually how this subthread goes. “Don’t trust slow throwers” “But what about these slow throwers”.
Yeah, there are a couple good ones, or at least passable for what they do, but they’ll never be great. I’m sure Greg Maddux counts as an anomoly on many scales.
Wandy Rodriguez didn’t hit that 89 mark till this year, it’s a huge red flag. I just want Wandy.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions
yeah, and lefty throwing 89 is different than righty throwing 89, but it’s also way different than Ted Lilly throwing 86.
Lilly was 87-90 most of the time
The 90 was rare though
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Lilly and Buehrle have had success for years with it. They’re reasonably safe bets
@TElciram
by Taylor Maricle on Oct 31, 2011 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions
Blue Jays 2012 options
Yes to Edwin Encarnacion ($3.5 million), no to Jon Rauch ($3.75 million), per Toronto reporter John Lott.
Rauch is hard to restrain
http://youtu.be/5xzeRV24oSI?t=2m8s
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
You can't have rosterbation without it!
It's not what you look like, when you're doin' what you're doin'
It's what you're doin' when you're doin' what you look like you're doin'!
by mleadman on Oct 31, 2011 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
This is going to sound weird
but I have seen and heard several people in recent days complain about the demise of Google Reader.
I have never used it; can someone sum it up in 2-3 sentences?
It was a great way to get around firewalls.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions
I read the first few trades when i posted that
but went back and read everything!
I was shocked when you offered Kershaw, I couldn’t believe it! lol. I love what you came up with though
TBLA 2011 Postseason Prediction Champion
About James Shields
The Rays exercised the “no duh” 2012 option for $7.5 million today (apparently he hit some escalators, as Cot’s had it at $7 million), per Marc Topkin of the St. Petersburg Times.
They draft like crazy, and been good at developing the talent they do have.
In other words, they don’t waste the few advantages they do have unlike other teams.
Rays also said yes to Kyle Farnsworth ($3.3 million) and no to Kelly Shoppach ($3.2 million), again per Topkin.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Thanks, I vacillated between posting this for a while. In the end my ego kicked in because I wanted it on record that Kris Medlan is going to be good:)
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
I was surprised you thought so highly of him
I thought they turned him into a middle reliever
TBLA 2011 Postseason Prediction Champion
I won't be able to read this for several hours
but will be crushed if the Dodgers in this realitfantasy don’t consider signing an aging brown skinned utility player named HJ to star in the Vic Davillio role
Phil gets the payroll down to $50MM then spends it all on Yu Darvish
by Michael White on Oct 31, 2011 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Apparently Anonymous had up until now done a great job from my standpoint at living up to their name.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions
I envision them as the same organization that helps Dateline and Chris Hansen behind the scenes on TCAP
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions
They actually did shut down a pedophile group the other day. But they’re famous for taking on Scientology, defending Wikileaks, and supposedly causing the PSN shutdown.
PSN = PlayStation Network?
Man, I am getting old.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 3:13 PM PDT up reply actions
i don't recall the psn fiasco being attributed to them
in fact it was such a gaping security hole it had probably been probed more then a few times before it was made publicly known
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
Kind of like Kim Kardashian
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
by Phil Gurnee on Oct 31, 2011 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
nerd parts will be washing up on San Diego and Baja beaches in the months and years to come
by Hollywood Joe on Oct 31, 2011 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Two things
I am not buying season tix for this team and if I am Kershaw, I am not signing an extension with a team cutting payroll.
I’d probably buy the same number of tickets I’m planning on buying now.
by Michael White on Oct 31, 2011 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Eddie hopes you represent one of the 30%
so that we only lose about 30% of the season ticket holders
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FWIW
National baseball writer Ken Davidoff of NY Newsday has his predictions of the destinations of 30 free agents, and predicted the Dodgers to sign Kelly Johnson (2/$16m) and Hiroki Kuroda (1/$13m)
I may have Mad Men on the brain
But I pictured this as Mad Men-esque, with Josie as a 60s secretary and Crazy Eddie as the fast-talking consultant hired to quickly patch together the new firm.
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Is Crazy Eddie the guy who throws the TVs into the LA River?
by Michael White on Oct 31, 2011 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions
I just remember the parody of a similar character in the movie UHF, who said “I’ll club a seal to make a better deal.”
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions
I heard this morning, for the first time, the Weird Al parody/homage to Bob Dylan songs where all the lyrics are palindromes. Cracked me up.
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It’s a classic. Might be a top 10 Weird Al song for me.
I have never actually thought to fully rank my favorite Weird Al songs, outside of (1) One More Minute; and (2) The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
I still like Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung.
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Definitely thought of Crazy Gideon as I read this. As well as Mad Man Muntz, as Marty mentioned.
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That is exactly what I was going for. My original post said
Mad Man Stylebut since I’ve only seen one episode I thought people who eat me alive if I said that.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
nothing that exciting happens in the first 5 episodes of the show
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
Don Draper cheats on his wife in the pilot by nailing a bohemian artist. Christina Hendricks sashays.
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aye
my phrasing is bad there. It rarely moves as fast as phils outlined scenario though.
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
You can’t be textural and rush.
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You needed Eddie to say something that in today’s standards would be very overtly sexist and inappropriate in the work place.
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I went there a few times and came back. Probably would have been more open to that if a pussycat was not making the calls.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
You needed that to be Mad Men like. You probably would have been crucified had you tried it in the article.
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Does that mean Crazy Eddie’s wife gets the ol’ Don Draper two-finger salute?
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Don likes satisfied clients. Index finger, thumb, and pinkie salute.
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I could see casting James Woods as Crazy Eddie.
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BH's
link from the last thread. The excerpt of interest to us (emphasis mine):
4. SBNationI won’t expect any increase in compensation to writers any time soon.
> Value: $56 million
SBNation is a collection of 315 sports blogs, many of which cover local sports. The sites cover the four major league sports, as well as golf, soccer, and tennis. SBNation also has an active fantasy football business. This section of the main site makes it a popular destination as fantasy football members return over and over to track their players and teams. SBNation has a very large staff of over sixty people, making its expense base larger than most blog networks. A fairly large portion of its revenue comes from premium advertisers, but many of the ads are for its own products, including its iPhone app. This suggests it has trouble marketing all of its ad inventory. SBNation is probably a takeover target by large media companies that have substantial websites, like ESPN and Sports Illustrated.
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Where’s Ashton Kutcher?
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions
honestly that seems like a lot of developers
for what this website is
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
Like Frank McCourt each of the Developers is actually one person as SB Nation has found a way to make money for itself.
Hey bloggers we would love to pay you but we got 20 developers working on things like the IPhone App, but don’t you worry it is not like we are making any money either.
Laughs into armpit.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Dunno
A handful of those pictures are developers?
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developers
project managers, agile project manager, designers. Seems like a bigger team then at my work.
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
Bloat? Title bloat?
Rob Neyer – National Baseball Editor
John Sickels – MLB Editor
Jeff Sullivan – Editor, SB Nation Baseball
Al Yellon – Baseball Editor
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I guess baseball’s a broad beat. Maybe those pages are where the hits / ad revenue are really at.
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I left out
Grant Brisbee- Baseball Editor
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Shouldn’t Eric be on that list as SB Nation Los Angeles Editor?
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
I get paid a stipend; those other people have full-time gigs with SB Nation.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Define full time gig? You mean they work 60 hours instead of 43?
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Getting paid enough to not have to work a real job; having an email address @sbnation.com, etc.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Have other duties, like league manager, or specific work on the main SB Nation site, etc.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions
The sites cover the four major league sports, as well as golf, soccer, and tennis.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Bloody Elbow (one of the UFC blogs at SBNation) wrote somewhere around 50 pieces since the UFC fights on Saturday night. Insane.
Proof the quantity will always beat quality in blogging.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 6:08 PM PDT up reply actions
I don’t doubt it. But half of the articles are just repeats of previous articles.
Like, “Winners/Losers of UFC [Insert #]” or “What’s next for ____?”
I think I saw three articles on Mirko Cro Cop and five on BJ Penn each.
Yep. Re-word news a lot, come up with the occasional really terrible opinion (i.e. I think Michael Bisping spitting on Jorge Rivera’s corner is a good thing) and you’ve got Bloody Elbow.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 6:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Writing free for Disney, wouldn’t that be something. I guess in a weird way until they fired me I could say I work for Disney, which is every kid’s dream isn’t it.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Only if you get to fuck Sleeping Beauty.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m holding out for the virginal Snow White!
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She does know about the magic carpet ride.
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But are you sure it isn’t Jessica Rabbit?
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I’d dump Donald’s Daisy in a flash for that rabbit
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Do Daisy and you really did fuck a duck.
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I’m not much for bestiality, but if I had to choose one rodent to nail, it would clearly by Mini Mouse.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Do Pluto and you will have screwed the pooch.
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Rangers picked up the 2012 option of reliever Yoshinori Tateyama, whom I didn’t know existed before the playoffs.
What happened
to Eric Stephanovich in this story? Named then dropped faster than Kris Humphries.
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and a pool
Pond would be good for you, though.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions
You do realize you put together a team with TG2 as the highest-paid offensive player.
"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great."
Not when Hawpe hits some of his incentives!
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When you have a $55 Million payroll and dead money makes up $31Million of it along with Clayton another $8, that leaves you 16 Million for 25 players because you have Rubby on the Major League DL.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
The financial flexibility of this team in 2014 will be mind blowing.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Who will be the big money FA then?
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I guess he signed an extension, which makes it less amazing.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Nothing in the text has details of an extension, just that CC isn’t opting out. But the video in the link is CC telling fans he agreed to extension, which was the endgame all along.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions
$25m in 2016, plus $25m option in 2017, with $5 million buyout.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Option details per Joel Sherman
2016 Option vests automatically unless CC is disabled by left shoulder injury
Option killed if: end 2016 season on DL, spend more than 45 days on the DL in ’16 with left shoulder injury or make at least 6 relief apps in ’16 due to shoulder issues
Love the specificity of getting down to 6 as the number of relief appearances.
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions
per Buster Olney
Two sides still need language approval
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions
Chump don’t want relief, he don’t get relief
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:49 PM PDT up reply actions
I guess with TJ surgery, you can come back with most elbow injuries, but the shoulder can still hold the career-ender, a la Jason Schimdt.
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so he is 31 now
and has 6 more years on contract. Not too bad
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
Or as ivdown would call it, a 6-year deal with a right for the team to void the deal after five years :)
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Quick focus grouping:
If the age column on MLC had numbers like this
22.06
22.10
22.04
21.03
Can you tell what I’m trying to say?
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
Yes.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Fantastic, that’s what I was looking for.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Suggestions
1) Use a comma instead of a period; or
2) add (Yr.Mo) into the header if possible; or
3) add a link to a glossary and people will eventually figure it out :)
by Eric Stephen on Oct 31, 2011 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m going with 2 and 3.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 4:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Everyone’s fav Willie Bloomquist has opted out of his contract.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Zach Duke is now a free agent, someone who would slot in as a fifth starter.
Patience is for those who die waiting for something to happen
Luanne is giddy with this news.
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Good Lord, thank you for making this joke. I think this joke every time I hear his name.
magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur
by Humma Kavula on Oct 31, 2011 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions
This is still the current thread
but I added a FanShot on top that links to a FanPost with a topical poll.
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More CC, per Joel Sherman
Yankees initial offer was 5-yrs, $120.5M. They came up to assure CC did not opt out at 11:59.
That $120.5 million offer is $500,000 more than Cliff Lee’s guarantee with the Phillies.
So the Yankees gave him a nice treat so he wouldn’t play the mean trick.
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Javy Guerra
celebrating his birthday (and his nephew’s) today.
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Kim Kardashian sure wasnt married for very long.
In a related note, Kris Humphries is no longer famous.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/31/kim-kardashian-divorce-kris-humphries-files/#.Tq9Ko0PSnFF
The couple was married on August 20 in a lavish ceremony (see below) in Montecito, CA. There are reports that the wedding cost as much as $10 mil, which means $138,888 for every day until today.
Reggie Bush didn’t have much of a career, but at least he was smart to realize that Kim Kardashian is fucking crazy.
Yeah he really dodged a bullet there?
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 6:35 PM PDT up reply actions
I think you meant to write – at least he was smart enough to (censored) Kim Kardashian like crazy
by Hollywood Joe on Oct 31, 2011 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Give the first kid that comes by the entire sack. He’ll remember it forever and you don’t end up eating 80 fun size butterfingers in one night.
Minor League Central @mlcentral @andrewngrant
by regfairfield on Oct 31, 2011 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
any kid that comes to my house will be greeted by middle aged man with wine breath, pajamas, and no candy
someone call my lawyer now
by Hollywood Joe on Oct 31, 2011 6:38 PM PDT up reply actions
if you want to go that wine bar this week
Let me know
by bhsportsguy on Oct 31, 2011 6:45 PM PDT via iPhone app up reply actions
no one ever comes to my place
now i have 3 bags of candy to eat
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
I passed out six bags of candy this year. Last year I had about ten kids come to the door. All I have left is a broken Sugar Daddy and some mini Tootsie Rolls.
Baseball is a game, and games are supposed to be fun.
not sure what was more unsettling
Crazy Eddie’s deals, or the Disney Princess sex subthread.
"Heroes get remembered, but Legends never die."
by Tommy Blackjack on Oct 31, 2011 6:59 PM PDT reply actions
I haven't seen anyone use
Van Slyke in their plans. He had some really good AA numbers…it’ll be interesting to see if he does anything during spring training.
I think people may be in "wait and see" mode with SVS
I think this is the first year he’s been this good. Though I would also like to see what he does in ST
"Heroes get remembered, but Legends never die."
by Tommy Blackjack on Oct 31, 2011 7:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Damn punks.
My parents had this skeleton doll for 20+ years. Someone stole it tonight. I hate kids. They don’t deserve candy.
that sucks
sorry about that man
"Heroes get remembered, but Legends never die."
by Tommy Blackjack on Oct 31, 2011 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
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