A Blind Squirrel Leads the Dodgers

Let us take a look at the Dodger positives going into the 2011 baseball season:

The owner is a nifty dresser.

The general manager is also a nifty dresser.

This will be the last year that the team will have to pay Nomar Garciaparra. (Young fans may not know that this guy played baseball in ancient times.)

Matt Kemp weighs less so he may be able to run faster now. Matt has been picked off base only once in all of this year's spring training games. Sometimes Matt acts like a blind squirrel when he is on the base paths, very fast, but not sure which way to run. At the least, he does run.

Jon Broxton has pitched a whole inning without getting bombed. Jon has been running in the off season and reports that this activity may be useful. That 5 mph he lost may be found at last. Jon knows what really happened last year and plans to do something about it. It wasn't the 48 pitch effort. It was that choking feeling he got when he pitched to a team with a winning record. ERA against losers: 1.57. ERA against winners: 6.15. Please, don't anybody tell him who he is playing.

Chad Billingsley hit the third most batters in the NL last year and he may be going for the lead this year. Chad also gave up fewer home runs per nine innings than all but one other NL pitcher. Is there a connection here? Go, Chad, go.

The general manager has a cool mustache.

Ted Lilly is getting ready to do what he did last year---lead the league with the fewest baserunners per game, highest percentage of fly balls per game and serve up the most home runs per game. Ted secretly hopes that Tony Gwynn hits enough to get a chance to play because his outfield will be vertically challenged. Ted needs to talk to Chad.

Casey Blake will be batting second. Since Casey takes a lot of pitches, Furcal may have more opportunities to steal. Ethier and Kemp bat behind him.  Nice.  Let's hope Casey figures it all out.

The laws of probability should catch up to Hiroki Kuroda. He led the league last year in tough losses with 8. If he regresses toward the mean, Kuroda will cut that in half and the Dodgers will win at least 4 more games.

Andre Ethier's pinky finger is better. Look out National League.

James Loney will be pretending that the bases are loaded on every at-bat this year. James hit .438 with the bases full last year and .222 with the bases empty. With no one on base, James is thinking, "Oh oh, hope I don't screw up again." When the bases are full, James is thinking, "See ball, smash ball, run like hell." James has learned that his greatest enemy is not playing for the other team. We all learn that eventually.

Kershaw will be Kershaw, only better.

Garland will be Garland, only the same, which is way better than anyone named Ortiz.

There will be no fifth-starter controversy to begin the season.

Watch out for Thames. He can get red hot. I actually had him on my fantasy team last year for a short time. Just keep him awake in the outfield.

The new manager is not Joe Torre.

We have resolved the Russell Martin conundrum.  Do we have a new one?

Juan Uribe has some pop. He will be great at driving in Blake Dewitt who has a high OBP.

What? Dewitt is gone?  What fool traded Dewitt?

Last, we deserve good things to happen. Haven't we suffered enough? On the other hand, does Frank McCourt deserve it? Do we want Frank to bask in the glory of putting together a World Series team? Personally, I might puke right in the middle of the celebration, just thinking about it. But as Clint Eastwood says to Gene Hackman just before he blows his head off in The Unforgiven,

"Deserve's got nothing to do with it."

One more positive: Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile. Go Matt, go.