When my son was home recently, we took in a college baseball game and soon found ourselves having the usual discussion. At some point he always comments on a player's lame walk-up music. I then respond by suggesting that the team eliminate walk-up music entirely, and go with appropriate sound effects. In that spirit, I offer my ideas for the Dodgers.
Chad Billingsley: two peals of thunder
Chris Capuano: a pillow tossed onto shag carpet
Todd Coffey: a recording of a Denny's buffet, Sunday morning
A. J. Ellis: Joe West shouts "Ball Four! Take your base!"
Mark Ellis: an old Regina vacuum cleaner
Scott Elbert: Mr. Burns, "Damned infernal gizmo. My kingdom for a left-handed can opener."
Andre Ethier: an erupting volcano
Dee Gordon: WHOOOOSHHH!
Javy Guerra: a slamming door, followed by the mouse click of the Cheers "We Win" posting
Matt Guerrier: from an old movie, a calendar's pages turn, thirty-six times
Tony Gwynn, Jr.: The San Diego Chicken, choking
Jerry Hairston: A knock at a door, followed by a free copy of The Watchtower
Aaron Harang: Lasorda discussing Dave Kingman's performance
Kenley Jansen: a bazooka
Matt Kemp: a rampaging bison charges across Yellowstone
Adam Kennedy: a rocking chair and a walker on linoleum
Clayton Kershaw: Vin says "public enemy number 1"
Ted Lilly (DL): Namesake Theodore Roosevelt: "Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft."
Josh Lindblom: Albuquerque traffic
James Loney: 50,000 people sigh
Mike MacDougal: Lisa Simpson, "Dad, that's Mac Tonight."
Juan Rivera: a cash register
Justin Sellers: a tattoo needle
Matt Treanor: a beach volleyball game
Juan Uribe: many coins circle a drain
Jamey Wright: Bones McCoy, "He's dead, Jim."