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For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the cliche responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

As Eric meticulously keeps track of the Dodger payroll now and in the future, some of the most disturbing information about the future of that payroll was unveiled last week by Jamie McCourt. Sure these are simply the tools that a philandering wife is using to get the judge to ante her monthly alimony  upto the 1,000,000 (dang that is a lot of zeros)  level but they were sure interesting in the detail.

As noted by Bill Shakin (a must read if you ask me) the Dodgers have already driven revenue to new highs, but while the revenue stream has skyrocketed  the payroll drops % wise.  The future revenue model expects revenue to continue to expand upto 500 Million but at the same time the payroll would stay static once it reached 125 Million.  So while the Dodgers at the moment have a payroll among the top ten teams in baseball, the payroll  relative to their revenue's has to rank in the bottom ten. Based on the model for the future they will continue to co-habitate with the bottom dwellers at the bottom of payroll % paid out relative to revenue. 

Eric already brought up this quote from the Shalkin article.

The Dodgers spent 46% of revenue on player compensation in 2007 and 42% in 2008, according to the documents. The projections call for that percentage to fall to 25% by 2013 and remain at about 25% through 2018.

Commissioner Bud Selig encourages teams to spend about one-half their revenue on player compensation, according to two high-ranking major league executives contacted by The Times.

"That's Bud's rule of thumb," one of the sources said.

If you believe the quoted  executive that 50% is normal, then 25% would be worthy of a legitimate Dodger Duck outcry if I didn't think the model was simply putting the McCourt business enterprise in the best possible light by overstating revenue and understating expenses as they attempt to bring in investment.

Still the document is worth asking about, isn't it?

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This column is for David Young who for some reason enjoys these little forays off the yellow brick road, as he goes under the knife tomorrow. Wish him well, anyone brave enough to undergo surgery in our hospitals is brave man. Make sure the surgery team does the check list. Seriously

 For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the cliche responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Spring is about to start, let's get started with asking NC how he went about building the team

Aflac Duck: You had your eye on Wang but you pulled out, how come?

NC:Since I already had a Johnson I felt I didn't need a Wang. I'm just hoping to find Billingsley some balls.

Aflac Duck: Okay now that we have the obligatory low denominator humor out of the way lets take a look at this team. Looks like the same group that choked in Philly minus the best pitcher Wolf, and the All-Star Hudson. Spin it for me NC spin it.

NC: Kershaw, Kuroda, and Billingsley are as good as any threesome in baseball

Aflac Duck: Really? You mean the guy who Torre didn't feel was good enough to even start in the playoffs? The guy who did get to pitch in playoffs and was torched to the tune of six earned runs in one inning? The southpaw who came unglued in game one against the Phillies?  Those are the guys you are counting on to defeat the Phillies? No wonder you signed Padilla.

NC: You can't just look at the playoffs, only maroons do that. Billingsley was an all-star last year until he fell into some bad habits. He has as good of stuff as anyone in baseball and we expect him to bounce back.

Aflac Duck: Why? Why weren't his bad habits fixed at the time he was exhibiting them? Isn't that what the video is for? The pitching coach? The catcher? Why is a winter of rest going to fix what ailed him in the 2nd half? Isn't that just wish-casting?

NC: No, the reality is that he got hurt last winter, wasn't able to work out, so lack of  conditioning may have contributed to his bad mechanics in the 2nd half?

Aflac Duck: I keep hearing he had some flaws, so your saying those flaws would not manifest themselves until the 5th or 6th inning after he sailed through the first four because of conditioning?

NC:Yes

Aflac Duck: How much faith do you have that Padilla can pitch a whole year like he did for the Dodgers last summer?

NC: 4 Million Dollars worth

Aflac Duck: Are Dodger players allowed to bring guns into the clubhouse?

NC: No

Aflac Duck: When is Loney going to learn how to hit at home?

NC: I don't know but if we trade him and he comes into Dodger Stadium and torches us, I'm going to be one pissed off MF. It is embarrassing when your 1st baseman can't hit a home run in his home park. 

Aflac Duck: Is Belliard really so rotund that you needed to put a weight clause into his contract?

NC:He was so round in the Winter League he could have rolled his way to Camelback after floating over from the Gulf of Mexico.  He was so round that if he showed up at Dodger Stadium they'd mistake him for a beach ball and start batting him around.

Aflac Duck: Will the Dodger fans ever see pre all-star 2008 Martin again? Or has the bad Kendall clone firmly ensconced himself into the Martin being?

NC:Man I hope so, no one expected him to go from the good Kendall to the bad Kendall just because he had to catch most of the all-star game.

Aflac Duck: If you had to pick between Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier which one would you pick?

NC:Neither, I'd take Juan Pierre

Aflac Duck: Speaking of your biggest mistake, how humbling was it to ask Frank to approve the deal that sent Juan away?

NC:It was easy compared to asking him to eat all of Andruw's contract. As long as we only have to eat one lousy contract per winter Frank is okay with it.

Aflac Duck: This is the first spring in three years we don't have to hear about how Jason Schmidt is going to earn his money. You must be breathing a sigh of relief now that you have Schmidt, Jones, and Pierre off the payroll. Is that why you signed Jamey Carroll to remind yourself that every team should have at least one bad contract?

NC:Jamey Carroll is a baseball player, who can help out all over the diamond,  John Hart says he's gritty good.

Aflac Duck: Will the fact that Broxton has failed twice against the Phillies in back to back seasons have a carry over effect into this season?

NC:No

Aflac Duck: Is Broxton becoming the new version of Billy Wagner? One of the best closers in baseball but someone you can't count on in the playoffs?

NC:No

Aflac Duck: Why do hate switch hitting prospects?

NC:What do you mean?

Aflac Duck: Since the summer of 2008 you have traded three switch hitting prospects in Carlos Santana, Josh Bell, and Tony Abreu.  The only one left is Trayvon Robinson, should he keep his bags packed?

NC:I don't have anything against switch hitters, those are the guys that the other teams wanted or No Deal.

Aflac Duck: In 2008 you signed a brittle Nomar to be our 3rd baseman. When that did not work out you ended up having to trade top offensive prospect Carlos Santana for Case Blake. In 2009 you signed Will Ohman to be our 2nd strong left hander out of the pen, when that did not work out you had to trade our top offensive prospect Josh Bell for George Sherrill. Who did you sign this winter that is going to screw us, causing us to trade one of our prime prospects this summer to make up for it?

NC:Probably Padilla, or Carroll, hey it was not like I signed very many guys this winter. The choices are limited.

Aflac Duck: At some point are you ever going to let your minor league pitchers of the year pitch in the rotation or simply keep using the Eric Miltons of the world over and over? Ramon and Russ Ortiz? Josh Towers? Depth is depth, but crappy depth is simply crappy depth. Speaking of crappy depth what is with the plethora of lousy middle infielders? Not enough that you are actually paying Jamey Carroll but then you bring in Berroa, Nick Green, Argenis Reyes, and a broken Amezaga. Wilson Valdez or Oscar Robles not available?

NC:Are you done? How can you not understand that every team needs depth, depth, and more depth.

Aflac Duck: are you scared to death your season might be riding on the health of a 38 year old left fielder?

NC:No, we brought in some excellent candidates to help out Manny.

Aflac Duck: Yes, you did bring in some candidates. Normally when you give a quick comment about the players you have acquired you talk about great character guys. This character thing seemed important to you, yet last week you signed Brian Giles, a man who was caught on tape knocking his girlfriend to the ground.  During your tenure you have acquired a SS who was released by the Astro's for knocking his girlfriend around in public,  a pitcher who was cheered by his teammates when he was traded because he was considered such a jerk,  and now a 25th type of player who appears to have done a bad job of managing his steroid rage as he's involved in a  Civil Suit for allegedly causing the miscarriage of his girlfriends baby due to the violence he inflicted on her? Are these what you call good character guys?

NC:No Comment

Aflac Duck: Any truth to the rumor that your wearing the Beards' beard as your toupee?

Quack Quack Quack

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It has been over a year since we last had our Aflac correspondent check in with TrueBlueLA. For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the cliche responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Aflac Duck: The 2009 Winter Meetings have been completed and Dodger GM Ned Colletti has dropped by to discuss the team.

AFLAC DUCK: Welcome Ned, it has been over a year since we last talked to you. First off congratulations on another excellent season. Same result but this time you had a lot to do with the fact the Dodgers were playing in the NLCS.  Let us go over the successes of 2009. Before the season started you brought in Orlando Hudson, Brad Ausmus, Mark Loretta,  Randy Wolf, Ronaldo Belisario, Mota, and Weaver.  Each of these played a vital role in the 2009 season, some more then others. Besides those external free agents you managed to sign Manny, Blake, and Furcal to return to the positions they played in 2008. Then to top off that excellent pre-season acquisition list you also brought in Sherrill, Belliard, Padilla, and Garland to bolster the team during the pennant run. Everything you touched turned to gold. We were even calling you Goldfinger Ned for a while. Given your contract status It must have been very satisfying to see so many moves prove fruitful?

Ned: Yes, it was very satisfying, but since we lost in the NLCS all that success still means we have more work to do in 2010.

AFLAC DUCK: You recently signed an extension for five years so I'm sure the success of 2009 led to that extension. Did you ever feel you would not be the Dodgers GM in 2010?

Ned: It was nip and tuck. Now that I am GM I sure wish I had Santana, Bell, Watt ,and Abreu back but I needed to win today not tomorrow.

AFLAC DUCK: Of all the veterans who helped the team win in 2009 only Blake, Furcal and Manny are signed. Let's get right to the crux of the 2010 winter season. The Dodgers had several arbitration eligible free agents. Wolf, Hudson, Belliard were the key ones. Each had a unique argument for offering them arbitration yet the Dodgers did not offer any of them arbitration. WTF was the response of even the most ignorant fans. What was the reasoning behind this?

Ned: Contrary to popular belief it was strictly a "baseball decision" and not a financial one.

AFLAC DUCK: Can you be clearer on what that means?

Ned: I'll try to explain in words that even a duck can understand. Regarding Wolf, we simply didn't feel we could take the chance he'd accept (wink) and have to pay one of the great stories of 2009 more than 10 Million. (wink wink)

AFLACK DUCK: That sounds like a financial decision not a baseball one. A baseball decision would be that you don't think Randy Wolf belongs in your rotation. Given how all of baseball would love the ability to pay a top pitcher for only one year this does not smack of a baseball decision. Is your eye okay?

Ned: Semantics.

AFLAC DUCK: What about Hudson? You knew he would not want to return to the Dodgers after he was benched in Sept and the playoffs? Were you really concerned he'd accept arbitration?

Ned: Yes, it is not like we had a verbal agreement with his handlers not to offer arbitration if he signed with us back in March (Ned Winks) you know what I mean (Ned winks again). We just felt that as a baseball decision (wink) it was best if we let Orlando become a free agent.

AFLAC DUCK: Am I spitting? Cause if am, then I'm embarrassed that I'm going all Daffy on you. Let me clean your eye out. (cleans eye with duck feathers causing Ned to cough). What about Belliard?

Ned: We had our eye on another 2nd baseman and we recently just signed him. You know he was voted the Best Good Guy in the Indian clubhouse in 2009. You can't put a price on a good clubhouse guy.

AFLAC DUCK: How can you say that with a straight face? You're the guy who signed Padilla, extended Jeff Kent,  and signed Shea Hillenbrand.

Ned: They were good clubhouse guys in a different way.

AFLAC DUCK: Last year during the winter season we were talking about big names, now the Dodgers are holding press conferences announcing the signings of Jamey Carroll. Is this our future?

Ned: Yes

AFLAC DUCK: Speaking of Carroll right after the winter meetings ended you made a few statements that made it seem like the Dodgers were going to wait out this free agent class and try to get some bargains like you did last year. Then a week later you sign Carroll to a two year, four million dollar deal. What changed?

Ned: Are you kidding, he's bleeping Jamey Carroll and Billy Beane was in on him hot and heavy so we had to cut bait and make a decision. The Dodgers are thrilled to have the Kendall version of a part time 2nd baseman who can't play SS on the roster. Dodger fans just have no idea how important it is to have these 35 year old hanger onners on the team. Look at what Loretta did in the playoffs? You think Abreu would have gotten that hit?

AFLAC DUCK: Ah, speaking of Tony Abreu. I'd have to assume that in August the team must have figured out that they didn't want Hudson back in 2010. Given that Abreu was the next option for 2nd base in 2010 why would you trade a young team controlled middle infielder who played 2nd, SS, 3rd with a little punch for a few starts from Garland?

Ned: We had no choice, that is who the Diamondbacks wanted and we needed Garland?

AFLAC DUCK: He made six starts and zero starts in the playoffs. Did you really "need" Garland?

Ned: Absolutely, we didn't know Padilla was going to be successful when we signed him. With Kuroda's health in question, Billingsley not doing the job, Kershaw out, we were desperate for starting pitching. I'm going to miss Tony and I wish I had him right now but we were in a pennant race. This was the right move at the time.

Continue reading this post »

Aflac Duck:The 2008 Winter Meeting have been completed and Dodger GM Ned Colleti has dropped by to discuss the team.

AFLAC DUCK: Welcome Ned, it has been over a year since we last talked to you. Alot has happened in that time. You were the architect of the team that swept the Cubs and brought excitement back to Chavez Ravine with the acquisition of Mannywood. How is it going with bringing Manny back to the Ravine?

Ned:Scott outlined what they will need and we're not interested in doing five years or four years, a long-term deal, We want the player back and we're willing to pay a very high salary to bring him back -- but short term.

AFLAC DUCK:Sounds like patience is the game you are playing. If Manny doesn't get any other offers we are the fallback option. I understand the plan, any worries that if Manny ends up signing for less then what he expected this winter that you will have an unhappy Manny?

Ned: No comment

AFLAC DUCK:Okay, let us move onto Rafael Furcal. What is going on with those negotiations?

Ned:It's going to take more creativity and on their part more willingness to accept creativity, If they can't accept creativity, probably we'll move on to somebody else. Our desire is Furcal, but he needs to be creative for our perspective. If they don't need or don't want to be creative, it's probably not going to happen.

AFLAC DUCK: Was creative the word of the day? Could you explain?

Ned:This is like watching the San Andreas Fault. Some days you can see it move probably, and other days it's going to sit there. And in a week or two it may move a lot. It's a slow process. It speeds up and it slows back down.

AFLAC DUCK:Thanks for the clarifiation. You are quite the wordsmith. Did you get any sleep before this interview?  You already mentioned you are still trying to get Furcal to fill the shortstop vacancy.  Jack Wilson has been mentioned in conjunction with the Dodgers? Still persuing him?

Ned:No, the Pirates are out to lunch with their demands.

AFLAC DUCK:Anybody else, Tony Jackson reported that  Omar Vizquel might be on our radar?

Ned:Contrary to what Tony Jackson reported we have no interest in Omar Vizquel.

AFLAC DUCK:How about the Rotation? Sheets?

Ned:No

AFLAC DUCK:Burnett?

Ned:No

AFLAC DUCK:Lowe?

Ned:No

AFLAC DUCK:Who might be an option?

Ned: Pettite, Wolf, and Garland

AFLAC DUCK:True Blue voters seem to think Randy Johnson would be a good option. You already shot down Sheets who was their 2nd choice. Any chance we are looking at Randy or Oliver Perez?

Ned:No comment

AFLAC DUCK: Eric Stults was doing the job as the 5th starter until he imploded in Colorado. You showed such little faith in him that you traded a very good prospect in Michael Watt for Greg Maddux. Did you do the right thing in trading some of our future a pitcher who was clearly done when we acquired him?

Ned:No comment

AFLAC DUCK:Carlos Santana is now the number one prospect for the Cleveland Indians after you gave him him to the Indians in exchange for them paying Casey Blake's salary. From what I understand this saved the Dodgers roughly $2 Million dollars. Was that worth the price of losing a switch hitting power hitting catcher with excellent plate discipline?

Ned:No Comment

AFLAC DUCK:Anything happeing on the trade front?

Ned::There are more options at the back of the rotation than the front, although something can always pop up at the front, finding someone for the top end of the rotation in a trade is highly unlikely. We were very refined in trade talks, With all the free agents [lost] and our young players, we don't have a lot in common with a lot of clubs.

AFLAC DUCK:You signed Mark Loretta who has the ability to play all four infield positions. Could you tell us about him?

Ned: I see him really helping [second baseman] Blake DeWitt, He's a winning-type player. His versatility, his understanding of the game, how to prepare. That's why he's here.

AFLAC DUCK: Give us the lowdown on Casey Blake. We paid a higher price for him then we did for Manny but the production wasn't very impressive. What makes you think he will be the answer in 2009 and going forward?

Ned:We are excited to bring back a player whose performance on the field and leadership off the field contributed so much to our division championship this year.

AFLAC DUCK: Last year you signed Andruw Jones to what I thought at the time was a great two year deal. A year later that contract is an albatross to the team. He came into camp with bigger tits then Dolly Parton and proceeded to have one of the worse seasons in Dodger history. Forget the salary he could have been paid the minimum and the production would still have been lacking. We recently got a shot of him getting ready to play winter ball and it looks like a slimmed down version. Any chance he will come back this year and live up to the expecations of last year?

Ned:No Comment

AFLAC DUCK:Juan Pierre has requested a trade as he knows he's the 4th outfielder with the current configuration and the 5th outfielder if you sign Mannywood. Any progress on that front.

Ned:He's still a Dodger

AFLAC DUCK:Any luck in tracking down the front office person who keeps leaking information to the media that makes the Dodger front office look like a bunch of maroons?

Ned:No, but I've taken to watching my back.

AFLAC DUCK:When the WBC was played in 2006 you refused to let Russel Martin play for the Canadian team. Now that the Dodgers are hosting the WBC are you going to relax this policy?

Ned:No comment

AFLAC DUCK: While the Dodgers had a very competitive payroll, as the 2nd half rolled around they seemed to get extremely cheap. Are they going to approach the same budget in 2009 that they had in 2008?

Ned:No comment

AFLAC DUCK:Smiling Sammy Saito was one of the few bright spots in your record and his performance has been extraordinary given his history and contract. Now it appears you are about to cut him loose.  You used the word "staredown" in describing the negotiations. Guys like Jones, Schmidt, and Rafy have taken your money with little to show for it, yet a guy like Saito who did everything we asked of him is being treated like a 2nd class citizen? Do we owe him more then that?

Ned:No comment

AFLAC DUCK: Thanks Ned for taking the time to talk about the Dodgers with us. Next year at this time I wish you luck in looking for a new job during the 2009 winter meetings.

Duck Talk
AFLAC DUCK: : We are happy to be sitting down with Jeff Kent today. We caught up to him during the recent Dodger caravan. How are you doing today Jeff?

JEFF KENT: :How the hell you think I'm doing. I'm talking to a stupid duck.

AFLAC DUCK: : Hey, you could be talking to TJ Simers, give me a break.

JEFF KENT: :Yeah, I'm just feeling ornery today

AFLAC DUCK: : So just like any other day then, huh?

JEFF KENT: : Yeah Yeah, let's get started

AFLAC DUCK: : So the word is that you've increased your winter workout and lost something like 20 lbs. What did you do different?

JEFF KENT: : Nothing,  that is the same PR crap they roll out every year. I do what I do every winter, which is, take care of my ranch. That is hard work compared to this wimpy baseball stuff.

AFLAC DUCK: :What exactly do you do on your ranch?

JEFF KENT: : Everything, I wrangle, I milk, I sear a hot metal object into the skin of a living steer. I'm a cowboy man, I do cowboy stuff.  When I'm not doing cowboy stuff I'm killing things. Hunting, fishing that is the life for me.

AFLAC DUCK: : So being a California kid and then a Berkley guy when did you first realize you wanted to be a cowboy.

JEFF KENT: : Hell duck, that is easy. The first time I got on a horse and felt the thrill of those muscles between my legs I knew I wanted to be a cowboy.

AFLAC DUCK: : Yeah, I know what you mean. Tell me why it took so long for you to decide to return to the Dodgers? It seemed like it was almost Christmas before we heard you were going to do your best imitation of a statue at 2nd base this year.

JEFF KENT: : It was a tough decision.  After branding a few hundred head of cattle I just didn't want to leave the ranch. Once you smell that burning flesh it is hard to shake it. But I realized that this was probably the last year where I could squeeze 10 Million bucks out of some owner and so I felt it was in my own best interest to play out my contract.

AFLAC DUCK: : It wasn't because you wanted to win a championship before you retire?

JEFF KENT: : Oh sure, that to. To win a championship is my biggest desire. It just helps the desire when they pay you 10 Million  if you know what I mean.

AFLAC DUCK: :Did any of the Dodger offseason moves help in your decision to come back?

JEFF KENT: : Firing Grady Little helped. I could never understand what the hell he was saying. And he kept playing those kids when important games were at stake. Joe Torre will set things right.

AFLAC DUCK: : So you're okay with Kemp still on the team?

JEFF KENT: : That was way overblown. You know how the media is. They get a whiff of a story and then they make a big deal out of it.

AFLAC DUCK: : Jeff, you spoke to TJ Simers and were very critical of the kids on the team. You started the whole shebang.

JEFF KENT: :Right, I'm the bad  guy. Jeff Kent is always the bad  guy. Barry Bonds was the good guy. Milton Bradley was the good guy, Matt Kemp is the good guy. Loney is the good guy. Hey I can take it. I'm a loner, just give me  my magazines and my trash can in a corner and I can do this for one more year.

AFLAC DUCK: :Speaking of problems, it was reported by TJ that you tried to give hitting advice and were rebuked. Who rebuked you?

JEFF KENT: : One of those good guys.

AFLAC DUCK: : So let me get this straight. The kids like Kemp and Loney were knocking the snot out of the ball most of the year and you tried to give them advice but they didn't feel the need to listen to a future HOF?

JEFF KENT: :Right

AFLAC DUCK: : Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should have been giving hitting advice to Nomar or Gonzo or Furcal? You might not have noticed, but they kind of sucked last year, not the kids.
Jeff Kent: They were contributing in other ways. This game isn't just about hitting and fielding. It is about character and those guys you mentioned have it in spades.
AFLACK DUCK: Quack Quack

Aflac Duck: With the sweep by the Rockies and the Dodgers playoff hopes down the drain, Ned Colleti has graciously accepted our invitation to chat since it appears the Dodger Talk host will never contact him.

AFLAC DUCK: Welcome Ned, now remember you promised to make this a worthwhile interview and to keep the PR spin to a minimum.

Ned: Let er rip.

AFLAC DUCK: Let's go around the diamond. Until today, James Loney had put together an incredible Sept, as he tries to put the myth that he doesn't have enough power for the position to sleep. He's also the smoothest 1st baseman the Dodgers have seen since the days of Wes Parker. After countless Dodger prospects (Brock, Stubbs, Marshal) have failed to impress after stellar minor league campaigns, is this the guy who will finally make Dodger fans forget about Steve Garvey?

Ned: No question, James Loney is the future 1st baseman for the Dodgers. I made a few mistakes last winter, but not trusting James, as our 1st baseman may have been the biggest. I believed in James but just didn't think he was ready, but he was. I'm sure glad I didn't take Kent's advice and trade him for that Texas 1st baseman with all the vowels.

AFLAC DUCK: Speaking of Jeff Kent, he is still an offensive force at 2nd base, but does that make up for the surly disposition, the statuesque defense, the terrible base running, and the disdain he shows for his teammates when they don't do what he feels was the right thing. He continues to slide head first into home, and I cringed when I saw James Loney doing that the other day. He's supposed to be teaching the kids the right way to play baseball, not the stupid way. One broken finger could ruin a season compared to a run. He's vested for next year. Do you want him back?

Ned: I wish I had 9 Jeff Kent's.

AFLAC DUCK: Come on, you hate him as much as everyone else.

Ned: Ha, I forgot how much I hated Kent when we had him in SF. In fact I rooted for Bonds during the fight. Jeff Kent has some issues, the main one being he's a prick when things don't go his way and he's a prick when things do go his way. He's probably headed for the HOF, so he gets free reign. Besides Grady and I are scared to death of him. Have you ever been stared at by him? It is like he's crushing your brain between his two eyes. I'll be honest with you; at this point I'd love for him to retire. That extension was probably not one of my better moves. With James entrenched at 1st base we no longer have a spot we can just move him to when he's no longer able to play 2nd base.  

AFLAC DUCK:Most Dodger fans would say he hasn't been able to play 2nd base since the day he was signed. Let's move on.
AFLAC DUCK: Rafy Furcal was the club MVP in 2006, but after suffering the ankle injury, he just never got on track in 2007. His defense didn't seem to suffer, but the power was MIA and the OB skills dropped. His final year is 2008 and you have a top prospect waiting in the wings in Hu. What's going to happen in 2008 at SS?

Ned: We expect Rafy to come back and give us a big year in his walk year.

AFLAC DUCK: Your comfortable with letting Rafy walk after 2008?

Ned: We will talk to him about an extension. Hu has talent but we can't play every kid just because they have talent. Someone has to be the veteran to get the kids through the tough times. If we can ink Rafy to an extension, Hu might see a lot of time at 2nd base. Can you imagine the defense up the middle with Hu and Rafy? If we can't get Rafy to sign an extension then we will have to look hard at Hu as the option for 2009 but we will bring in a veteran as plan B.

AFLAC DUCK: Okay, now your biggest problem. You signed Nomar to play 1st and when James pushed him off of 1st you traded Betemit and moved Nomar to 3b. You have some real problems here. You have the veteran making 10 million who wants to play everyday, but doesn't really have the skills anymore. You have a kid who looked to have a great future until the back thing got in the way. Are you comfortable with Nomar and La Roche in 2008?

Ned: The fans still love Nomar, and he did hit with runners in scoring position, but his health is a huge issue. We could really have used his PVL in Aug when the team was struggling and he wasn't available. Andy was going to get the call when his back gave out.  We can't really take the chance that he does his exercises and is ready to play in 2008. 3b is a position I will need to address. If we go into 2008 with Nomar/Andy and the same thing happens that happened in August I'll be stuck without a 3b. I was lucky enough this year that I was able to bring a Shea Hillenbrand in to fill the void but you can't count on that magic happening every season. We might have to look east for a better solution.

AFLAC DUCK: East, whoa Nellie, that is going to raise some eyebrows. Are you thinking you have a shot in the Arod sweepstakes?

Ned: No, we don't have the payroll to go after Arod. McCourt would love to get Arod but he doesn't want to outspend his competition to such a point that he's optimizing the advantage of being in the biggest market in the West. It wouldn't be fair to use our 3.5 Million fans to an economic advantage over our NL competitors and mess with the balance that has been achieved.

AFLAC DUCK: But Frank and the boss have both said they would love to see the Franchise get 4 million fans. Wouldn't Arod just about guarantee they hit that number?

Ned: Sure, but there is more to it then winning at the box office and winning on the field?

AFLAC DUCK: Such as?

Ned: Competitive balance

AFLAC DUCK: I don't think the fans give a quack about competitive balance.

Ned: Probably not, but sometimes you just have to do the right thing. We are not the Yankee's or Boston. We care about what is right for baseball

AFLAC DUCK: Okay, were not getting anywhere here, so your talking Lowell then?

Ned: I'd love Mike Lowell on our team, but I just can't see the Red Sox giving him up. He's been a major reason for their success this year.

AFLAC DUCK: Certainly not Troy Glaus, the man can barely run?

Ned: We looked at Glaus early this year but no, the injury concerns are too great.

AFLAC DUCK: Now you're making me nervous, not that it takes much to make a duck nervous. So what are you talking about?

Ned: My old trading partners who I fleeced last year for Lugo and Hendrickson have a bit of a logjam. They have this kid Longoria who needs to play next year and he's a 3b, but they already have a 3b that has a nice contract and showed that he can play in the major leagues. They also need a 2nd or SS, which we have. I can't say anything more but Sammy may have someone to converse with by next year.

AFLAC DUCK: I can understand your reluctance to give the 3b job to La Roche given the uncertainty of his disk problem, but what would you do with him and Nomar? Nomar is not going to want to take a back seat is he?

Ned: That is a problem. I never should have signed him. Given his health, his bad 2nd half in 2006, I don't know what I was thinking. I just panicked when JD left and thought that maybe Nomar could be the guy he was in the 1st half of 2006. Hopefully he'll just go away.

AFLAC DUCK: We'd all love to see him just go away but it doesn't work that way.

Ned: My head hurts, can we move on.

AFLAC DUCK: Sure, we at AFLACK understand about headaches. Okay, let's talk about the best thing on the Dodgers, Russel Martin. Were you concerned that he lead all catchers in games played, innings?

Ned: Yes, I gave Grady what I thought was an excellent backup catcher. Evidently he was not good enough. I'm not sure what to do for 2008. Do I just let someone like Moeller take the job since he's never going to play anyway? As long as Russell holds up were okay. Since he plays everyday no good backup catcher wants to come here and rust away so I think I'm stuck just going with the fringe backup, and hoping Russell has another year like 2007 in him. For me Russell is the MVP on the team.

AFLAC DUCK: Are you going to buy out his arbitration years?

Ned: Hell yeah. He's the heart and soul of this team.

AFLAC DUCK: Let's head to the outfield. We will start in Left Field. Gonzo did what you expected the 1st half, maybe even surpassing expectations, but as the season winds down it is clear he has been surpassed by the kids. Will he be back in 2008?

Ned: No, Gonzo gave us the bridge to the kids, and we appreciate that but we won't have any need for his services going forward. Andre Ethier will be our everyday outfielder in 2008. Were very pleased with his performance and expect Andre to be a solid contributor for years to come.

AFLAC DUCK: So then let's skip center and head to RF. If Andre is penciled in to be the LF, I assume Matt Kemp will be the RF?

Ned: Yes, Matt Kemp will be the RF. He has a chance to be one of the great Dodgers. In fact, I think your going to see a historical team. With James, Matt, and Russell you have the nucleus that should make Dodger fans very happy in the future.

AFLAC DUCK:Do you any regrets about letting Werth go and not trusting Kemp and Ethier to handle the outfield?

Ned:None, you can't just hand jobs to rookies. Look what happened to Gordon and Marte.

AFLAC DUCK:What about Pence and Braun?

Ned:They percolated 1st. I'm all about percolation.

AFLAC DUCK: Okay then, which brings us to CF. Juan Pierre started out slow, looked unsure of himself in the field and many fans never took to him. Especially the analytical fans who didn't want him in the 1st place.

Ned: I've made some flippant comments about Juan during our prior sessions but honestly I do feel he gets a bad rap. Yes, he played CF in April like a man on cheap roller-skates, but if anyone was paying attention as the season went on he adjusted to Dodger Stadium and I thought he played a superb CF during the 2nd half of the season.

AFLAC DUCK: The on base skills for a lead off hitter still seem to be lacking?

Ned: He had a lot of bad luck bunting. Our intern showed me some numbers that showed his bunting % was way down compared to his norm. This intern used the word "normalize" saying that with a normal year he'd be spot on his career numbers.

AFLAC DUCK: That would still be below normal for a leadoff hitter.

Ned: I'll take you word for it but I think he makes up for his lack of OB skills, with his stolen bases and the problems he causes the opposition. Sure, we'd love for him to morph into Brett Butler but that isn't going to happen. At the end of the day I'm completely satisfied with the job Juan Pierre has done for us.

AFLAC DUCK: How about his arm. It isn't unusual for a catcher to go 1st to 3rd on a single to CF against him. Are you worried about how many runs his arm gives up? I've seen some estimates of up to 30 runs?

Ned: That is absurd. Our intern says that is a bunch of hooey.

AFLAC DUCK: You foresee any forays into the free agent market in the positional area? If so are you going to deal with Scott Boras?

Ned: I'm not afraid to deal with Boras. If you think I look stupid now, how stupid would I have looked if I'd given in to Boras and given JD the hellish contract that Boston is saddled with?

AFLAC DUCK: Pretty stupid, but since you gave Kent an extension, Nomar a two year deal, Schmidt a 3 year deal, and Pierre a 5 year deal it is not like your looking like the brightest bulb in the room anyway.

Ned: My head hurts, I need something to eat.

AFLAC DUCK: I've still got some soft gooey stuff in the frig...

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Aflac Duck: Due to network obligations we are here with Eric Karros today.

Eric Karros: No question, it is good to be here today.

Aflac Duck: I haven't even asked you a question yet.

Eric Karros: No question, that I'm waiting for that 1st question so I can annoy somebody.

Aflac Duck: Okay then Eric, do the Dodgers have a chance for the wildcard?

Eric Karros: No question, the Dodgers have a shot. Any team with a heartbeat in Sept has a chance. This isn't April. These games count.

Aflac Duck: You can't answer every question with "No Question". It isn't professional, doesn't anyone review your performances?

Eric Karros: No question, I need some work but since I'm an ex-ballplayer and everything I say is a cliché, no one really cares. Christ sake, I'm being interviewed by a duck who is more famous to 10 year olds then Barry Bonds!

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The Aflac Duck under enormous pressure to produce quality programming has bitten off Eric's head and gone for the soft gooey stuff.

In this reporter's opinion, it was the humane thing to do.

Aflac Duck: We'd like to thank Ned Colletti for joining us this inning to talk about his 4th place Dodgers.

Ned: Glad to be here

Aflac Duck: Ned, you seem to be taking a lot of unwarranted flak in LA for your current position. Given all the injuries you've suffered to the pitching staff, I would think your happy to be in the hunt at all.

Ned: That's right, losing Schmidt, Kuo, and Wolf has really made us scramble for some pitching but I think I did a great job in getting Wells and Loiaza, so were set for the stretch run.

Aflac Duck: Wells and Loiaza have certainly pitched some key games since you acquired them. At the beginning of year your rotation appeared to be eight deep. Do you think Loaiza will work out better then Schmidt, Wolf, Tomko, and Hendrickson have?

Ned: We ran into tough luck with Schmidt and Wolf. No one could have seen that coming. Brett has the stuff to be an all-star but he just couldn't get it done for us. We kept expecting him to pitch like he did in his rookie year, 10 years ago but he couldn't just catch the breaks. Hendrickson was having great success in the tough AL East when we traded for him last summer. For whatever reason that success hasn't translated over for us but all we gave up was a starting 22-year-old catcher, so no great loss. You have to take chances in this game to succeed.

Aflac Duck: Pierre has been criticized quite a lot in LA. I don't get it. He's hitting near 300 and look at all those stolen bases.

Ned: The critics are probably concerned with the OBP of 325 and the arm that only a ten year old computer geek would be proud of, but they are missing the intangibles that he brings to the table.

Aflac Duck: What would those be?

Ned: He shows up everyday ready to play

Aflac Duck: So, your saying most professional baseball players don't show up ready to play everyday?

Ned: No they do, I just love to say it because it sounds good. However none of them work as hard as Pierre does.

Aflac Duck: If he works so hard wouldn't he learn how to properly set himself when throwing to mask his deficiencies? Or learn how to take a pitch like Brett Butler? Or just get better at the things he's weak in?

Ned: No, he works hard at the things he's already good at. Everyday you'll see him working on his bunting, his base stealing, his smile, and his confused look when he's underappreciated. Those kind of things.

Aflac Duck: I see, and you're good with that.

Ned: Oh yeah, we didn't give him all that money for all those years because we wanted him to get on base. We just want him to do things he's good at.

Aflac Duck: Okay then, how about all these youngsters who seem to be leading your team back into the race?

Ned: The kids are all right

Aflac Duck: That is it?

Ned: Yeah, the kids seem to be getting much too much credit. The real credit goes to the veterans who are plugging away every day, not getting to high or to low. Gonzo, Kent, Nomar, Furcal, Sweeney, and Pierre have really been the backbone of our team.

Aflac Duck: Reallly!!!, so Kemp, Loney, Etheir, Billingsley and Martin aren't the reason your still in the race?

Ned: Martin has been great, he plays like a veteran. This is his 2nd season so I consider him a veteran. I can't say enough good things about Martin.

Aflac Duck: That's interesting, because you know Matt Kemp has been your most productive hitter.

Ned: I guess you could say that based on the numbers but the numbers don't show all the mistakes he makes. He's made more baserunning mistakes then I've got fingers, and he plays lazy, rarely hustling right from the box.

Aflac Duck: So you don't think his OPS+ of 130 and his gun in RF make up for his bad baserunning and occasional laziness?

Ned: Not sure what an OPS+ is but there is no doubt Kemp can hit. We just need him to focus on the little things and then you'll see him playing everyday. If he could take his talent but play like Kent he'd be an all-star.

Aflac Duck: Begging your pardon, but are you talking about the Jeff Kent who ran you out of the playoff game last year and has made a few mistakes of his own on the basepaths recently?

Ned: That is just a case of being over aggressive. I have no problem with veterans being over aggressive as opposed to rookies making baserunning blunders.

Aflac Duck: I see

Aflac Duck: James Loney hit two home runs last night and is starting to make a case as a force in Sept. You must be thrilled to know he's going to be your 1st baseman for years to come?

Ned: Loney has been great on the road but until he learns to hit at home I'm not convinced he's the long-term answer.

Aflac Duck: No question, Loney has struggled at home. It is interesting you've had two 1st baseman this year. One has struggled on the road but hit at home while the other hits on the road but struggles at home.

Ned: Whom are you talking about?

Aflac Duck: Nomar, he was terrible on the road, in fact I think his OPS was the lowest for any player in baseball.

Ned: No kidding, who knew? All I know is that Nomar hits when it counts.

Aflac Duck: Yes his RISP has been high all year, which has masked his dreadful season. Is that more important, a player who has a high RISP or a player who can hit no matter what the situation?

Ned: All I know is that I'm happy Nomar is back. Just like year he'll provide a big boost to this team.

Aflac Duck: True, Nomar did hit six home runs last year in Sept. Do you think he can do that again considering he's only hit six all year in over 400 at bats?

Ned: No, we don't expect Nomar to hit. Just his veteran presence will help us maintain focus so we don't make the little mistakes.

Aflac Duck: So, it is more important to have a veteran presence then someone who can actually produce?

Ned: Veterans produce in ways that can't be measured. I'm sure you've heard of PVL haven't you?

Aflac Duck:Yes, I believe it was 1st coined at DT where the biggest and smartest Dodgers fans hang out, but stay away while a game is underway, it turns into something worse then talk radio if things go bad.

Ned: I've heard of this DT. Frank brought it to my attention several weeks ago. When I checked out the site I didn't understand most of what they were talking about, however it did appear that Underdog & BHSPORTSGUY really know their stuff. The lead writer shows some skills and I bet if he hung out with Bill and TJ he'd really blossom, he just needs someone to give him direction.

Aflac Duck: Andy La Roche, who tore up the Pacific Coast League to the tune of 12 home runs in 90 at bats in July, finally got healthy and joined the team. He quickly made an impact with two huge doubles but I notice he hasn't played since his last double. Is he now sitting because he has no PVL? If so at what point does PVL kick in?

Ned: If we can get Nomar out on the field then we have to do it. Andy will be a fine young player once he learns how to handle the game at the major league level. Nomar and Shea have been there before so they know what is expected. Right now I'd say that Martin and Ethier have PVL since they were with us in 2006.

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