For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the clichéd responses we normally get. For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Duck: Congratulations Ned on a wonderful winter. Couldn't have been easy to get so many players to defer millions into the 2013 season so you could build a competitive team this winter loaded with players who were once good and not having to rely on the farm system to fill the holes.

Ned : Thanks, the whole management team worked hard to build the best team we could build.

Duck: First off, the biggest and greatest move has to be the signing of Matt Kemp, making him a Dodger for the next eight years.

Ned : Yes, we were pleased to give Matt Kemp the largest contract in the history of the organization. He's a special talent and Dodger fans can now look forward to seeing Matt Kemp everyday for the next eight years.

Duck: No misgiving about Matt getting lazy and having a bunch of 2010 seasons?

Ned: A few, but when Dave Stewart looked at me with those slitted black eyes, and told me that Matt Kemp was not going to rest until he was the greatest Dodger to ever play the game, I was sold.

Duck: To help out Matt, you resigned Juan Rivera who was such a key piece to the resurgence of the team this past summer.

Ned: Juan was a huge asset to the team in the 2nd half of 2011 and we expect him to continue to do great things for us in 2012/2013. You know we brought in this number cruncher named Alex Tamin who showed us a few things we were unaware of.

Duck: Like what?

Ned: For example did you know that James Loney and Andre Ethier have zero power against left handers?

Duck: Ya don't say?

Ned: Yup, that is why we signed Juan Rivera, to help out against LHP. Alex showed us that Andre becomes Juan Castro if the pitcher is a southpaw. Only one home run all of last year. James only hit two. Heck in 2009 Juan Rivera hit 12 home runs against LHP.

Duck: Yes, Juan Rivera was quite a player in 2009.

Duck: You lost Jamey Carroll to the Twins but you quickly made up for it by signing three infielders, Mark Ellis, Adam Kennedy, and Jerry Hairston. It was quite a coup to take such highly sought after infielders off the market so quickly.

Ned: Yes, we were very pleased to sign all of them. Mark Ellis was the target because of the research Alex Tamin did related to our infield defense. Back in 2010 Mark Ellis was great and we expect him to be just as good again at 35 as he was at age 33. He was healthy enough to play 132 games last year so we think the health issues that have plagued him his whole career are a thing of the past. Kennedy is left handed infielder who can play anywhere but SS, so we got Jerry Hairston to handle that in case Dee Gordon runs into any injuries or adjustment problems.Plus Hairston can play anywhere. This might be the best bench I've ever assembled.

Duck: You spent a good amount of loose change on these guys, does this mean you have no faith in Sellers or DeJesus?

Ned: Sellers impressed us with his tatoo's last year. Who's the other guy?

Duck: Ivan DeJesus Junior!

Ned: Who

Duck: Nevermind, was Mark Treanor brought into to mentor AJ Ellis?

Ned: Hell no, we simply wanted Misty May on the teams Volleyball team. We are going to kick the Padres ass this year. Other then Misty May he brings nothing to the table we care about. That catcher I got from the Red Sox, that guy is our future.

Duck: You mean FedEx?

Ned: Who, oh I get it. That is clever, think I'll use it.

Duck: When you were unable to sign Kuroda you capped off this great winter by bringing in two pitchers who were very successful in 2011 pitching in pitching parks.

Ned: Yes, have to give credit to Tamin again. He explained how we will be playing 100 games in pitching friendly parks so we didn't have to target good pitchers, simply pitchers who used to be good. Among the group of pitchers we could afford who used to be good these were the best.

Duck: Is this your favorite kind of team? Old and expensive, with most of the cost deferred until 2013, with a MVP candidate and Cy Young sprinkled in here and there to keep the fans happy about the farm system?

Ned: Yes, this might be my favorite team ever. Everyone here was either good once, or will be. None of those Miles guys this year.

Duck: How is Uribe doing this winter, have you talked to him?

Ned: Not directly, but his waitress assured me he is in great shape, and can't wait to play baseball in 2012 for the Dodgers.

Duck: I'd be remiss if I did not bring up James Loney's accident. For whatever reason he was asleep at the wheel, were you surprised?

Ned: Surprised, hell no. James has been sleepwalking at Dodger Stadium for three years until something woke him up on August 10th of this year.

Duck: Does this team need a great year from James Loney to compete for a postseason post?

Ned: Yes, any other easy questions?

Duck: Some blogs have started calling this the has been team because most of the players you signed were good several years ago and struggled in 2011. What do you say to them?

Has been
Has been
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
You callin' me, has been?
What'd you say your name is?
Jack
Never done jack
Glad to meet ya
Who's your friend?
Dick
Don't say dick
Whaddya know?
And you friend, what's your handle?
Don
Two thumbs Don

Duck: Have to say Ned, this is not the type of winter anyone was expecting but you outdid yourself. You are simply one of a kind. Have a Merry Christmas, and do you have anything to say to the fans?

Ned: Yes, if you are going to have Duck for your Christmas Dinner, make sure you use a cherry sauce.

QUACK QUACK

                                                                              
Rk             Player ERA+ GS Year Age  Tm  G    IP   H ER BB  SO  ERA HR OPS+
6           Ted Lilly   72 22 2011  35 LAD 22 123.2 131 69 28  94 5.02 23  126
19          Mat Latos   87 20 2011  23 SDP 20 118.2 114 54 45 112 4.10 11  105
20   Chad Billingsley   88 22 2011  26 LAD 22 134.1 132 62 56 118 4.15  8  103

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For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the clichéd responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Aflac Duck: With the recent signing of Marcus Thames the roster appears set. Going down the list I see Clayton Kershaw, Chad Billingsley, Hiroki Kuroda, Ted Lilly, Jon Garland, and Padilla. Is this the deepest rotation you have ever had on Jan 20th?

Ned Colletti:  Maybe, that 2006 rotation of Lowe, Penny, Odalis, Tomko, and Seo was kind of awe inspiring in it's own way.  Luckily we were able to add Mark Hendrickson and Aaron Sele to really fill it out.

Aflac Duck: The rotation is solid and you stayed true to form by signing a free agent relief pitcher Matt Guerrier, but you did do something different. You gave him a three year deal leaving most everybody shaking their collective heads. MSTI wondered why him? Ken Gurnick noted that this was the longest relief pitcher contract since Jeff Shaw way back in 1998. Seems that many other relief pitchers were available, did you really need to commit three years to a soft tossing middle relief pitcher?

NC: Matt gives us depth in the bullpen as he's proven to be a strong performer on a team that contends year in and year out, he's willing to take the ball in any situation and his track record speaks for itself. We're excited to have him in the late innings for the next few seasons.

Aflac Duck: On paper the bullpen looks loaded with Hong Chi Kuo, Jonathan Broxton, Derrier, Kenley Jansen, Ronaldo Bellisario. Plus you have Padilla working in the bullpen as you wait for one of the starters to get hurt. Looks like only room for one more pitcher, Don Mattingly said he didn't care about getting another lefty just get someone who can get hitters out. If Kuo can stay healthy, Broxton bounces back, Jansen continues to dominate, and Belisario stays focused this could be the best bullpen the Dodgers have had since the Dan Evans era.  Would you like to get another LHP or are you happy with the candidates for that last spot?

NC: I'm probably done shopping, you forgot about Blake Hawksworth, you bloggers have been so fixated on his sister you've forgotten he can pitch. He gives us another option for the rotation, and should help out in the bullpen.

Aflac Duck: Right, I did forget about him. So basically Scott Elbert has no chance of making this team out of spring training unless an injury strikes? Or Troncoso?

NC: I wouldn't say no chance, they may end up battling Jansen for a spot, plus with this many pitchers, injuries always play a role.

Aflac Duck: He's not going to go home again when he's sent back to AAA again is he?

NC: If he does he best make sure he only gets a one way ticket.

Aflac Duck: I think Dodger fans when they look at this pitching staff have to be happy that no Ortiz's will be wasting roster space. You really have a loaded staff from top to bottom.  Kudo's for the good work you did in building the 2011 staff.

NC: Thanks

Aflac Duck: That pitching  looks loaded, so let's take a look at the weakest part of the lineup, the catching position. You had to make a tough decision and cut loose Russell Martin, you said that is the hardest decision you have had to make.  You became a GM just in time to watch Russell Martin blossom into one of the best catchers in the game, and then watch him wither and die on the vine before his time. Did Joe simply run him into the ground from which he has been unable to physically recover? He did catch more games over a two year period then any other Dodger catcher in history.

NC: I don't know about running him into the ground, he did the Dodger franchise proud, and we only wish him the best as he tries to resurrect his career with the NY Yankees.

Aflac Duck: That he did, let's take a look at the players who are replacing Martin. Rod Barajas was barely paid the minimum in 2010 and yet you gave him a 3 Million dollar deal.  When Frank McCourt got that big loan from Fox did he know you were going to throw away 3 million of it on a 35 year old backup catcher?  I know he hit well for the Dodgers but come on, who does this? Luckily when Barajas reverts back to the terrible hitting catcher he is,  you signed 2008 AL All - Star Dionnar Navarro to help him out.  Problem is that just like 2008 NL All- Star Russell Martin, Navarro  stopped hitting after that all-star game. Luckily you showed some restraint since you only gave him $1 Million. Many might look at the Dodgers catching situation headed in 2011 and come to conclusion that they have some weak sauce behind the plate. I understand Martin made his decision but is this the best you could do for $4.25 Million?  The picking were slim but maybe you could have saved some here for some other position. Guys like  Paulino, Zaun, and Ramon Hernandez could possibly have simply split time with AJ Ellis?

NC: Maybe you didn't notice how great Barajas did for the Dodgers after I acquired him?

Aflac Duck: I did, maybe you didn't notice how often the part time players you have acquired in Aug/Sept who were brilliant kind of sucked the following season when they went back to being what they always were. Guys like Marlon Anderson and Belliard jump to mind.

NC: Barajas is different, he will earn his contract, and really those other guys you mentioned, all have their own issues.  AJ Ellis is a good kid but he's simply depth and will always be depth. What if I had done that plan and a catcher gets hurt, who is my backup? Nobody, with Barajas and Navarro in the fold, AJ Ellis is depth if one of them goes down. You should know by now I'm all about depth.

Aflac Duck: I'm not really against Barajas, I simply flinch at the idea of a catcher begging for a job at age 34, then getting a huge payday because of one month of great work. Whatever, Rod is a good guy, glad he's on the team.

Aflac Duck: 1st base stays the same, but if the production stays the same this team is in a world  of hurt.

NC: Can't disagree with that, James Loney needs to hit the baseball hard. He's double happy, we need to turn him into homer happy.

Aflac Duck: Your biggest free agent positional signing was grabbing Juan Uribe from the World Champion Giants. He brings power and pizazz to the lineup along with a good glove and strong arm. I find Uribe interesting because he had a better year in 2009 and couldn't find a suitor, has an okay year power wise for a 2nd baseman in 2010 and gets a big time mega million dollar deal..  The last time we talked Ryan Theriot was the possible 2nd baseman, so the team has seriously upgraded the power part of the position with Uribe. Any way just rambling, I have no question regarding Uribe.

Aflac Duck: SS is still Furcal but with Uribe you have given the team some much needed depth for when Furcal gets hurt. How many healthy games are you hoping for from Furcal this year?

NC: 114

Aflac Duck: 3rd base is still Casey Blake, at first blush that appears to be a weakness but given the relative lack of decent 3rd baseman in the NL, maybe he's not a weakness after all?

NC: Casey Blake is a strength, having Carroll on the team will allow us to give the rest a 37 year old 3rd baseman needs.

Aflac Duck: Andre and Kemp are set in RF / CF. Many fans feel the fortunes of the team depends directly on their performance. Is that to much pressure for them?

NC: They are our two best hitters, they need to hit like our two best hitters, Manny gave them some time to mature, now it is up to them to show us what they are made of.

Aflac Duck: Left field has been a source of consternation for just about every Dodger fan. You signed Marcus Thames to put all of Dodger fandom worries about left field to rest. I understand they are thrilled to have the guy who beat out Jamie Hoffman for the last spot on the Yankee team in 2010, and why shouldn't they be. His defense will remind everyone of Manny, and his offense will remind everyone why they loved Manny.  To early to tell how the configuration will play out? Gibbons / Thames, Gwynn / Thames, Paul / Thames, Thames only?

NC: I'll let Donnie make the determination, my job was to get him a right hand bat, and I think I got him the best one we could afford.

Aflac Duck: Everyone says Gibbons is a lock for the roster because you gave him a major league contract. Assuming Thames is playing LF, the bench looks to be Carroll, Navarro, Gywnn, and Gibbons. Leaving a roster squabble between Castro and Mitchell, with  AJ Ellis, Hoffman, the Aussie, Elbert, Ely, Monk, The German headed for the minor leagues with  Xavier Paul headed out of Dodger Blue. At this moment it looks like Paul will be given away like Cody Ross and D Young were when they had no options left and no place on the 25 man roster?

NC: We will probably try to do with Paul what we did with Hu, get a comparable player but one who can be optioned to the minor leagues.

Aflac Duck: So here we are, happy with what you have wrought?

NC: Yes, our pitching will allow us to be in every game, and I think you'll enjoy the number of solo home runs we hit this year. The Giants did it, we can do it. If I can't be the general manager of the Giants then making the Dodgers over to be like the Giants is the next greatest thing. You bloggers love your on base, so out of spite I built a team that never gets on base, and I'm still going to win ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Aflac Duck: Settle down Ned, you forget that TBLA now has 3,000 daily readers not the 5 when we first started this gig. These newbies don't understand your sophisticated humor.

NC: Bloody hell, you know I was just spoofing, you know I bleed Dodger blue after my Giant orange has run out. You know I'm just one big ball of laughs. You tell your readers that or I'm getting my shotgun and my Orange Duck recipe ready.

Aflac Duck: Don't worry, they never read this far anyway. I'm sure they got distracted once they saw the squirrel.

For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the clichéd responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this most of this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Aflac Duck: It is Nov 17th,  and the biggest question seems to be what are you going to do with Russell Martin and James Loney?

Ned Colletti:

There are options. But that said, we're partial to those guys we know; to those who play for us...

Aflac Duck: You seem to be very partial to players you have seen. So far this winter you have re-signed Hiroki Kuroda and Ted Lilly giving you basically the same rotation that ended the year. You have exercised the option on Podboy, and it sounds like you are leaning towards keeping Martin and Loney.Would it be safe to say the Dodger Marketing Mantra in 2011 will be "Staying with the lowside we know"

NC: Kuroda and Lilly were the 2nd and 3rd best free agent starters on the market. We did damn well to keep them in our rotation. I would not agree they are "lowside".

Aflac Duck: Point taken, but what makes you believe that Martin and Loney can deliver more tomorrow then what they have to this point today? With the lack of power on this team, there seems to be an abundance  of 1st baseman on the market who could help this team more then Loney? Or Martin for that matter.

NC: Loney helps on both sides of the ball, he's our guy, you stat guys have no idea what Loney brings to this team. Martin on other hand is a total different story. Martin is our glue but with his injury the glue is starting to lose it's ability to hold the team together.  Can he come back 100%?

Russell's the one that we're going to spend the most time debating, He's coming off a different kind of injury — and a serious injury. So he's somebody we've spent a lot of different conversations [on] trying to figure out what would be best."

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 For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the clichéd responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this most of this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Aflac Duck: The Dodgers come home with their tails between their legs. Nothing went right, either the team was hitting when the pitching was getting shelled, or the hitting stopped when the pitching was doing the job. Through out it all the team played the worse defense many of us can ever remember a team playing. If you could focus on one thing that was the catalyst for such a disastrous start to the season what would it be?

NC: Matt Kemp's defense is probably the key to our poor start. 

Aflac Duck: Why is Matt Kemps defense so poor this year?

NC:  Why is it? Because he got a new deal? Can’t tell you. But you know, it’s below-average. If this is the last day of the season and people are voting for the Gold Glove, his name is not even on the ballot. It’s a shame that he would go from where he was a year ago to revert back to when the ball goes up in the air and you’re not sure where it’s going, or if it’s going to get caught.

Aflac Duck: Wow Ned, your not pulling any punches. At least you didn't blame it on Rhianna. Seems a stretch to question his deal, but the reality is that his defense does suck but since he's your only center fielder you are going to have to roll with it.  What do you think of Rhianna and Matt?

NC: No comment

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For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the cliche responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

As Eric meticulously keeps track of the Dodger payroll now and in the future, some of the most disturbing information about the future of that payroll was unveiled last week by Jamie McCourt. Sure these are simply the tools that a philandering wife is using to get the judge to ante her monthly alimony  upto the 1,000,000 (dang that is a lot of zeros)  level but they were sure interesting in the detail.

As noted by Bill Shakin (a must read if you ask me) the Dodgers have already driven revenue to new highs, but while the revenue stream has skyrocketed  the payroll drops % wise.  The future revenue model expects revenue to continue to expand upto 500 Million but at the same time the payroll would stay static once it reached 125 Million.  So while the Dodgers at the moment have a payroll among the top ten teams in baseball, the payroll  relative to their revenue's has to rank in the bottom ten. Based on the model for the future they will continue to co-habitate with the bottom dwellers at the bottom of payroll % paid out relative to revenue. 

Eric already brought up this quote from the Shalkin article.

The Dodgers spent 46% of revenue on player compensation in 2007 and 42% in 2008, according to the documents. The projections call for that percentage to fall to 25% by 2013 and remain at about 25% through 2018.

Commissioner Bud Selig encourages teams to spend about one-half their revenue on player compensation, according to two high-ranking major league executives contacted by The Times.

"That's Bud's rule of thumb," one of the sources said.

If you believe the quoted  executive that 50% is normal, then 25% would be worthy of a legitimate Dodger Duck outcry if I didn't think the model was simply putting the McCourt business enterprise in the best possible light by overstating revenue and understating expenses as they attempt to bring in investment.

Still the document is worth asking about, isn't it?

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This column is for David Young who for some reason enjoys these little forays off the yellow brick road, as he goes under the knife tomorrow. Wish him well, anyone brave enough to undergo surgery in our hospitals is brave man. Make sure the surgery team does the check list. Seriously

 For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the cliche responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Spring is about to start, let's get started with asking NC how he went about building the team

Aflac Duck: You had your eye on Wang but you pulled out, how come?

NC:Since I already had a Johnson I felt I didn't need a Wang. I'm just hoping to find Billingsley some balls.

Aflac Duck: Okay now that we have the obligatory low denominator humor out of the way lets take a look at this team. Looks like the same group that choked in Philly minus the best pitcher Wolf, and the All-Star Hudson. Spin it for me NC spin it.

NC: Kershaw, Kuroda, and Billingsley are as good as any threesome in baseball

Aflac Duck: Really? You mean the guy who Torre didn't feel was good enough to even start in the playoffs? The guy who did get to pitch in playoffs and was torched to the tune of six earned runs in one inning? The southpaw who came unglued in game one against the Phillies?  Those are the guys you are counting on to defeat the Phillies? No wonder you signed Padilla.

NC: You can't just look at the playoffs, only maroons do that. Billingsley was an all-star last year until he fell into some bad habits. He has as good of stuff as anyone in baseball and we expect him to bounce back.

Aflac Duck: Why? Why weren't his bad habits fixed at the time he was exhibiting them? Isn't that what the video is for? The pitching coach? The catcher? Why is a winter of rest going to fix what ailed him in the 2nd half? Isn't that just wish-casting?

NC: No, the reality is that he got hurt last winter, wasn't able to work out, so lack of  conditioning may have contributed to his bad mechanics in the 2nd half?

Aflac Duck: I keep hearing he had some flaws, so your saying those flaws would not manifest themselves until the 5th or 6th inning after he sailed through the first four because of conditioning?

NC:Yes

Aflac Duck: How much faith do you have that Padilla can pitch a whole year like he did for the Dodgers last summer?

NC: 4 Million Dollars worth

Aflac Duck: Are Dodger players allowed to bring guns into the clubhouse?

NC: No

Aflac Duck: When is Loney going to learn how to hit at home?

NC: I don't know but if we trade him and he comes into Dodger Stadium and torches us, I'm going to be one pissed off MF. It is embarrassing when your 1st baseman can't hit a home run in his home park. 

Aflac Duck: Is Belliard really so rotund that you needed to put a weight clause into his contract?

NC:He was so round in the Winter League he could have rolled his way to Camelback after floating over from the Gulf of Mexico.  He was so round that if he showed up at Dodger Stadium they'd mistake him for a beach ball and start batting him around.

Aflac Duck: Will the Dodger fans ever see pre all-star 2008 Martin again? Or has the bad Kendall clone firmly ensconced himself into the Martin being?

NC:Man I hope so, no one expected him to go from the good Kendall to the bad Kendall just because he had to catch most of the all-star game.

Aflac Duck: If you had to pick between Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier which one would you pick?

NC:Neither, I'd take Juan Pierre

Aflac Duck: Speaking of your biggest mistake, how humbling was it to ask Frank to approve the deal that sent Juan away?

NC:It was easy compared to asking him to eat all of Andruw's contract. As long as we only have to eat one lousy contract per winter Frank is okay with it.

Aflac Duck: This is the first spring in three years we don't have to hear about how Jason Schmidt is going to earn his money. You must be breathing a sigh of relief now that you have Schmidt, Jones, and Pierre off the payroll. Is that why you signed Jamey Carroll to remind yourself that every team should have at least one bad contract?

NC:Jamey Carroll is a baseball player, who can help out all over the diamond,  John Hart says he's gritty good.

Aflac Duck: Will the fact that Broxton has failed twice against the Phillies in back to back seasons have a carry over effect into this season?

NC:No

Aflac Duck: Is Broxton becoming the new version of Billy Wagner? One of the best closers in baseball but someone you can't count on in the playoffs?

NC:No

Aflac Duck: Why do hate switch hitting prospects?

NC:What do you mean?

Aflac Duck: Since the summer of 2008 you have traded three switch hitting prospects in Carlos Santana, Josh Bell, and Tony Abreu.  The only one left is Trayvon Robinson, should he keep his bags packed?

NC:I don't have anything against switch hitters, those are the guys that the other teams wanted or No Deal.

Aflac Duck: In 2008 you signed a brittle Nomar to be our 3rd baseman. When that did not work out you ended up having to trade top offensive prospect Carlos Santana for Case Blake. In 2009 you signed Will Ohman to be our 2nd strong left hander out of the pen, when that did not work out you had to trade our top offensive prospect Josh Bell for George Sherrill. Who did you sign this winter that is going to screw us, causing us to trade one of our prime prospects this summer to make up for it?

NC:Probably Padilla, or Carroll, hey it was not like I signed very many guys this winter. The choices are limited.

Aflac Duck: At some point are you ever going to let your minor league pitchers of the year pitch in the rotation or simply keep using the Eric Miltons of the world over and over? Ramon and Russ Ortiz? Josh Towers? Depth is depth, but crappy depth is simply crappy depth. Speaking of crappy depth what is with the plethora of lousy middle infielders? Not enough that you are actually paying Jamey Carroll but then you bring in Berroa, Nick Green, Argenis Reyes, and a broken Amezaga. Wilson Valdez or Oscar Robles not available?

NC:Are you done? How can you not understand that every team needs depth, depth, and more depth.

Aflac Duck: are you scared to death your season might be riding on the health of a 38 year old left fielder?

NC:No, we brought in some excellent candidates to help out Manny.

Aflac Duck: Yes, you did bring in some candidates. Normally when you give a quick comment about the players you have acquired you talk about great character guys. This character thing seemed important to you, yet last week you signed Brian Giles, a man who was caught on tape knocking his girlfriend to the ground.  During your tenure you have acquired a SS who was released by the Astro's for knocking his girlfriend around in public,  a pitcher who was cheered by his teammates when he was traded because he was considered such a jerk,  and now a 25th type of player who appears to have done a bad job of managing his steroid rage as he's involved in a  Civil Suit for allegedly causing the miscarriage of his girlfriends baby due to the violence he inflicted on her? Are these what you call good character guys?

NC:No Comment

Aflac Duck: Any truth to the rumor that your wearing the Beards' beard as your toupee?

Quack Quack Quack

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It has been over a year since we last had our Aflac correspondent check in with TrueBlueLA. For some of his past interviews you can check out the Duck Talk Section where we ask the questions we want to ask and try to see through the cliche responses we normally get.  For those of you new to Duck Talk, this is a complete fabrication based on interviews within my troubled mind.

Aflac Duck: The 2009 Winter Meetings have been completed and Dodger GM Ned Colletti has dropped by to discuss the team.

AFLAC DUCK: Welcome Ned, it has been over a year since we last talked to you. First off congratulations on another excellent season. Same result but this time you had a lot to do with the fact the Dodgers were playing in the NLCS.  Let us go over the successes of 2009. Before the season started you brought in Orlando Hudson, Brad Ausmus, Mark Loretta,  Randy Wolf, Ronaldo Belisario, Mota, and Weaver.  Each of these played a vital role in the 2009 season, some more then others. Besides those external free agents you managed to sign Manny, Blake, and Furcal to return to the positions they played in 2008. Then to top off that excellent pre-season acquisition list you also brought in Sherrill, Belliard, Padilla, and Garland to bolster the team during the pennant run. Everything you touched turned to gold. We were even calling you Goldfinger Ned for a while. Given your contract status It must have been very satisfying to see so many moves prove fruitful?

Ned: Yes, it was very satisfying, but since we lost in the NLCS all that success still means we have more work to do in 2010.

AFLAC DUCK: You recently signed an extension for five years so I'm sure the success of 2009 led to that extension. Did you ever feel you would not be the Dodgers GM in 2010?

Ned: It was nip and tuck. Now that I am GM I sure wish I had Santana, Bell, Watt ,and Abreu back but I needed to win today not tomorrow.

AFLAC DUCK: Of all the veterans who helped the team win in 2009 only Blake, Furcal and Manny are signed. Let's get right to the crux of the 2010 winter season. The Dodgers had several arbitration eligible free agents. Wolf, Hudson, Belliard were the key ones. Each had a unique argument for offering them arbitration yet the Dodgers did not offer any of them arbitration. WTF was the response of even the most ignorant fans. What was the reasoning behind this?

Ned: Contrary to popular belief it was strictly a "baseball decision" and not a financial one.

AFLAC DUCK: Can you be clearer on what that means?

Ned: I'll try to explain in words that even a duck can understand. Regarding Wolf, we simply didn't feel we could take the chance he'd accept (wink) and have to pay one of the great stories of 2009 more than 10 Million. (wink wink)

AFLACK DUCK: That sounds like a financial decision not a baseball one. A baseball decision would be that you don't think Randy Wolf belongs in your rotation. Given how all of baseball would love the ability to pay a top pitcher for only one year this does not smack of a baseball decision. Is your eye okay?

Ned: Semantics.

AFLAC DUCK: What about Hudson? You knew he would not want to return to the Dodgers after he was benched in Sept and the playoffs? Were you really concerned he'd accept arbitration?

Ned: Yes, it is not like we had a verbal agreement with his handlers not to offer arbitration if he signed with us back in March (Ned Winks) you know what I mean (Ned winks again). We just felt that as a baseball decision (wink) it was best if we let Orlando become a free agent.

AFLAC DUCK: Am I spitting? Cause if am, then I'm embarrassed that I'm going all Daffy on you. Let me clean your eye out. (cleans eye with duck feathers causing Ned to cough). What about Belliard?

Ned: We had our eye on another 2nd baseman and we recently just signed him. You know he was voted the Best Good Guy in the Indian clubhouse in 2009. You can't put a price on a good clubhouse guy.

AFLAC DUCK: How can you say that with a straight face? You're the guy who signed Padilla, extended Jeff Kent,  and signed Shea Hillenbrand.

Ned: They were good clubhouse guys in a different way.

AFLAC DUCK: Last year during the winter season we were talking about big names, now the Dodgers are holding press conferences announcing the signings of Jamey Carroll. Is this our future?

Ned: Yes

AFLAC DUCK: Speaking of Carroll right after the winter meetings ended you made a few statements that made it seem like the Dodgers were going to wait out this free agent class and try to get some bargains like you did last year. Then a week later you sign Carroll to a two year, four million dollar deal. What changed?

Ned: Are you kidding, he's bleeping Jamey Carroll and Billy Beane was in on him hot and heavy so we had to cut bait and make a decision. The Dodgers are thrilled to have the Kendall version of a part time 2nd baseman who can't play SS on the roster. Dodger fans just have no idea how important it is to have these 35 year old hanger onners on the team. Look at what Loretta did in the playoffs? You think Abreu would have gotten that hit?

AFLAC DUCK: Ah, speaking of Tony Abreu. I'd have to assume that in August the team must have figured out that they didn't want Hudson back in 2010. Given that Abreu was the next option for 2nd base in 2010 why would you trade a young team controlled middle infielder who played 2nd, SS, 3rd with a little punch for a few starts from Garland?

Ned: We had no choice, that is who the Diamondbacks wanted and we needed Garland?

AFLAC DUCK: He made six starts and zero starts in the playoffs. Did you really "need" Garland?

Ned: Absolutely, we didn't know Padilla was going to be successful when we signed him. With Kuroda's health in question, Billingsley not doing the job, Kershaw out, we were desperate for starting pitching. I'm going to miss Tony and I wish I had him right now but we were in a pennant race. This was the right move at the time.

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