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Empty Dreams

I came home Monday Night from a weekend trip to find that the high winds this weekend sent one of my trees crashing down, and when it landed it came close to crushing the last remnants of my 1st marriage. Somehow a larger lower branch plowed into the ground and kept the main branch from collapsing on top of my 1982 Subaru Brat.

The Brat is the only brand new car I've ever purchased, and is the centerpiece of many fond memories. It isn't the beauty it once was, as its side was crumpled when a pickup with no insurance tried to knock me off Topanga Canyon during a rainstorm. It's last wild ride was five years ago when I burned out the clutch 20 miles from home, but I managed to roll it into my driveway, where it has sat since that time while I contemplated what to do with it. I've had offers from pool guys, gas meter readers, joggers, even a movie producer who wanted to blow it up. I turned them all down as my dream was to rebuild it and make it shine once again. It is however a false dream and one I'm finally ready to let go of.

Greg Miller was once the jewel in the Dodgers farm system. When he was just 18 he leapfrogged 3 levels and was pitching in AA by the end of 2003. In his brief 27-inning stint he wowed everyone with 40 strikeouts. He was every bit as good as Clayton Kershaw is today, and I dreamed of him being the best left-handed pitcher since Fernando debuted for us in 1980. Even when he went under the knife I remained optimistic that given his age and the nature of the surgery that he'd eventually get started on that career I'd dreamed up for him. It has now been 4 years since that scintillating beginning, and while he only turns 23 this November, his career keeps going backyards. As he gets pounded in the AFL this fall it is time for me to give up the dream that he'll amount to anything. Even as recently as two weeks ago I still had him on my top 30-prospect team.

Vin Scully said in a recent interview that he never looks back, only forward. It is time to look forward to Clayton Kershaw and stop looking back at what could have been with Greg Miller.