In the spring of 2008 Larry Bowa's rebellion did not last long, and as we enter the spring of 2010 we caught up with Larry to ask him how he feels about his feeble attempt to make a stand two years ago. He looked worn out even though it was just the beginning of spring. MLB was unveiling the new coaching uniform that they mandated all coaches wear after the DoGooder Society lead by Robert Timman with one N got up in arms after a coach took a shot off his shin causing pain to the 55,000 spectators who saw him grimace for a full five minutes. The new Michelin Man coaching uniform should protect the old fogies from any possible harm and they were anxious to see it in action.
Larry looked worn out as he tried to take off the uniform, it had been a hot day in Florida and the uniform did not look conducive to handling the heat. The old cocky rooster seemed to have been replaced by a beaten man, struggling to stand under the weight of the uniform. Several attendants had to help him get if off, and after 15 minutes he was finally free of the armor, drenched in a pool of sweat. Tired but safe, he said he would talk to us after he showered. He trudged off to the shower, taking a minute to grab the latest Izzy Shower Helmet that was also now required of all people 55 and over. The showers had been set not to turn on until the helmet was placed squarely on the head. It had been a rousing success in the world of safety as the number of people suffering head injuries had plummeted. Izzy had become the latest billionaire as the Izzy "Protect your head or you'll be dead" line had been tremendously successful combining safety with hair products so that your head never needed to be unprotected no matter where you were at.
Before Larry could get to the shower he collapsed and we would never get our interview. He had suffered a heat stroke brought on no doubt by wearing the new uniform for 3 1/2 hours, but luckily his Izzy shower helmet had held fast, so when he hit the ground his cranium remained intact and he would just need some rest.
We decided to pursue other game but Robert Timman with one N was to fast for us and adeptly put on his driving helmet and drove away. He was in a hurry as he wanted to talk to his colleague Martin Leadpipe who had been the lobbyist behind the legislation which now kept so many Americans from hurting themselves. Martin was getting ready to watch the new Red Ray Super High Def Blasters DVD compilation that had just come out, but first he wanted to make his favorite meal. Once he fed his dog, he started making his Bacon Cups dinner which had become the staple of his diet ever since he 1st heard about them two years ago. He didn't fill his with tomatoes and lettuce, he heaped some serious Ben N Jerry's ice cream into the cup, and turned his into a sundae. He started to dig in when he felt a sharp pain in his arm.
A few minutes later Robert was knocking on Martins door but there was no response. He could hear his dog barking but no Martin. They were good enough friends that he knew where Martin kept his safe key so he let himself in. He found Martin lying in a heap, his mouth gaping open like a trout out of water. In his hand he clasped the bacon cup tightly, as though the last thought of his body was to cling tight to the thing he loved the most. Robert frowned because he didn't like the thought of having to train a new colleague, but he was pleased to see that at least Martin had been wearing his Izzy heart attack helmet and thus his cranium was intact.