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Based On A True Story

Joe Torre and Larry Bowa approach Andre Ethier

Bowa: You there, rook, Joe’s got something to ask you.

Ethier: Sure, what’s up?

Torre: There’s three words in the English language that end in “gry”. Hungry and angry are two of them what’s the third?

Ethier: Hmmmm…drudgery? Nope…uhhh…skullduggery? I guess I’d have to look it up.

Bowa: It’s [loving] language, rook.

Ethier: Huh?

Torre: I said there are three words in “The English Language” Language is the third word in that. You need to learn how to listen.

Jeff Kent from across the room: That’s right, skip.

Ethier: That’s just dumb, just because you decided to take out a period doesn’t make you clever.

Bowa: See this is the [big] problem all you [young] rooks think you’re so great. Like you’re King [Lear] on [Space] Mountain. Well you’re not. I bet you don’t even know who Scott [David] Brosius is. You were still [folding] your pants while he was out there getting [World Series] rings. He would have said “language” then gone out and won the [big] game.  

Ethier: I was like 20.

Bowa: See this why we can’t [even] win a [baseball] game. Back in my day we knew the [right] answer then we won [important] games. I couldn’t hit the [broad] side of a [red] barn, but I was almost [the] rookie of the year and [a] MVP, because I [really] could pay [close attention].

Mark Sweeney: No hustle either.

Torre: Good point, Sween. Maybe one day, Andre, you’ll play the game the right they. Until then, start running.

Bowa: No respect. That’s the problem with [those] rooks these days. No [given] respect.


Unfunny post loosely inspired by this .