Fractured Thoughts

We have with us today, two of True Blue's most disturbed writers, Phil Gurnee and Meercatjohn. With the 2011 season now upon us, they will pointlessly debate the virtues of the 2011 team. A fractured mind is a terrible thing to waste so lets get to it.

Moderator - Phil, what do you like about this team?

Phil - Most everyone is jumping on the rotation but I'm going to go off the board. The best thing about this team is Hector Gimenez, he's a switch hitting Venezuelan catcher with power and patience who broke out in AA last year at the tender age of 27, and is primed to be the Dodger catcher of the future. By 2013 no one will care about the switch hitting Dominican with power and patience who got away.

Meercatjon - you are an idiot

Phil - how can you not see the parallels between Victor Martinez and Hector Gimenez. They are like Twins

Meercatjohn - Twins in the way that the Gov and Danny Devito were twins with Hector playing the part of Devito.

Phil - just saying, in the history of major league baseball, Venezuela has produced three switch hitting catchers. Victor Martinez, Dionar Navarro, and the infamous Jose Lobaton. Clearly Hector is among select company, and within time will take his spot among them as one of the three best switch hitting Venezuelan catchers of all time.

Meercatjohn - I'm wasting my time here. I'll stick with my initial meme, you are an idiot

Moderator - let us move on, what else do you like

Phil - the rotation is killer, this will be the best rotation in California among the teams in the NL who are not defending champions. As Clayton showed last night we have the best young left hander in the game West of the Rockies. Billingsley will not only earn his contract, he will out point Lincecum this year in Cy Young voting. Kuroda is the best Japanese pitcher in the United States, and Ted Lilly will lead the league in home runs allowed.

Meercatjohn - how is leading the league in home runs a positive? These parameters you choose are pathetic. West of the Rockies indeed. No question the rotation is the strong suit of this team, but it is not infallible. You might be able to count on Kershaw and Billingsley but Kuroda and Lilly are old and destined for disaster. Garland / Padilla have already hit the DL , and at some point this year they will be joined by the Methuselahs.

Phil - You are an idiot, Kuroda and Lilly are going to make 60 quality starts between them.

Phil - When the starters finish up their minimum of six innings of good work then the loaded bullpen goes to work. Jansen, Guerrier, Kuo, and Broxton. No one wants to face these guys.

Meercatjohn - please you have a converted catcher who can only throw a fastball and has no clue where it is going, an overworked Twin who will be a disaster in the NL, a left hander with an arm that may be golden but will probably melt down, and finally the biggest choke artist to ever take the hill of the Ravine in the 9th inning. This team is going to need protection of one run games and Big Boy Broxton will not be up to the task. I noticed you only mentioned these four and didn't even bother to mention the jokes of MacDougal or Cormier.

Phil - that is just looking for bad news. Jansen may not have any more control then Marmol does but who cares, ain't no one getting comfortable in the box with his stuff coming at you. He has the greatest K rate in the history of the Dodgers for a reason. Broxton has had one bad 1/2 season in his whole career. Sure it came last year, but he'll be okay, if not Kuo will do what he has always done. DOMINATE. I have nothing good to say about Cormier, he'll be gone as soon as Padilla is ready. MacDougal may not be any good or have any more control then Jansen but he's fun to watch pitch and you need that for those laughers we will be winning 12 -6.

Phil - at 1st base we have the slick fielding Loney, who saves as many runs as Adam Dunn drives in. Even Logan White feels Loney is the better player.

Meercatjohn - Logan White is an idiot. Everyone here knows Loney blows, how long can you hold out hope that he "becomes" something he is not?

Phil - I keep holding out hope you will learn to write and not be a drag on this site so hopeless hope is my game.

Phil - we upgraded big time at 2nd base with Uribe, power galore, pizazz, and leadership. Even you must be happy to see Uribe instead of Denothing or Theriot?

Meercatjohn - sure big upgrade, but how many games will he get at 2nd with old man Blake manning 3rd? Plus it is only an upgrade because of what they had before. The man is a Dominican hole to an offense with his all or nothing approach.

Phil - at SS we have the greatest Los Angeles SS of all time, and waiting in the weeds is the future greatest Los Angeles SS of all time.

Meercatjohn - Rafy rocks when healthy, he won't be. If Dee Gordon has a higher WAR then Jose Offerman as a member of the Dodgers I'll be one shocked Meerkat.

Phil - Casey Blake has become a defensive whiz

Meercatjohn - right, and you wonder why UZR puzzles people

Phil - you can't have anything negative to say about Andre and Matt?

Meercatjohn - you mean the streaky guy who can't wait to get out of here? Or the prima donna patrolling CF, who thinks he's so gifted he can coast through his career? They are good, but are they great? because they will need to be great for this team to even smell 81 wins given the rest of the team you have been throwing at me.

Phil - they are great all right. Kemp is going to be in the MVP hunt, didn't you witness his three walks on opening day. With that patience, power, and speed, he'll be our version of Willie Mays.

Meercatjohn - he was walked three times because James Loney bats behind him. At least with Kemp if you make a mistake he will make you pay, with Loney he might hit a hard ground-ball to 2nd instead of a feeble one.

Phil - what an imbecilic comment

Phil - this is a solid team, great rotation, great bullpen, two great outfielders, two switch hitting Venezuelan catchers along with a Golden Rod, and a bunch of gritty players who won't fold in crunch time. If you can't get behind a team like this then you are just a negative Nelly.

Meercatjohn - other then four key players this is an old team , and those four key players will not be enough to steer this team in to the postseason. If they win 84 games I'll be impressed.

Moderator - this has been a bundle of fun, now back to your cages

This is a fan-written post that is in no way affiliated with or related to any of the authors or editors of True Blue LA. The opinions reflected in this post do not necessarily reflect those of True Blue LA, its authors or editors.