Vin Scully had noticed that the game he has been broadcasting since 1950 has had an overwhelming number of players grow full beards recently. The legendary broadcaster decided he wanted to discover why beards have become so popular, and did his homework.
"Way back to the dawn of humanity beards evolved, number one, because ladies liked them -- and number two, it was the idea of frightening off adversaries and wild animals. [...] In fact, it was so serious, if you look it up, that there's a divine mandate for beards in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. [...] There became a time when Greek dramatists mined the popular prejudice against clean-shaved men."
The man really spent some time on this subject. He continued:
"Then of course you come to Abraham Lincoln, who was clean shaven and a little 11-year-old girl named Grace Viddel, she said to Mr. Lincoln "If you would grow a beard my daddy has a beard and my mommy teases him that he would vote for you." So Abraham Lincoln grew a beard."
Scully carried on about beards for nearly five minutes of the broadcast and we're all better for it.